kanda :
I cheated, and I regret it more than I can explain. I became the person I promised myself I would never be, and I hate myself for what I did. The guilt has stayed with me for so long that sometimes I feel like I don’t even deserve to love anyone anymore. I still love her very much. But at the same time, I’m ashamed of myself for still wanting another chance after everything I put her through. I know I hurt her, and I know saying sorry can’t simply undo what I did. I wish I could go back and make a different choice, but I can’t. I don’t want to make excuses for my actions because I know what I did was wrong. I just wish she knew how deeply I regret it. I’m trying to understand that loving someone also means accepting the consequences of your mistakes, even when those consequences mean you might not get them back. Part of me still hopes that someday she might see that I’m genuinely trying to change, not just because I want her back, but because I never want to become that person again. I know I can’t force her to forgive me, trust me, or give me another chance. All I can do is take responsibility, work on myself, and respect whatever she chooses. I still wish it could have been different. I still wish it was us. But more than anything, I’m sorry for hurting the person I loved the most.
2026-09-15 17:35:40