Dokkan poster :
4 years ago, I reconnected with someone who i didn’t talk much ever since middle school. Her and I had such a bond that I never knew how to put it into words. It always felt so natural even before that. During the same year (2022) we decided to get into a relationship with each other, at first I was hesitant because I thought to myself “why would I want to ruin something so beautiful with someone I care so much for.” But I confessed anyway because there’s no point in hiding how I feel. With most relationships, the beginning of it was amazing! But then during 2023 I was mentally deteriorating, I began to overthink literally everything and I mean LITERALLY everything. I felt like I never did enough, I felt like I was too annoying or too clingy. But the sad thing is, I was always reassured that I’m enough and yet I never took that to heart. Her reassurances was an unforgettable feeling at the time. And as time went on, I started to resent myself, i hated myself so much to the point where the concept of a compliment makes me feel weird (and it applies to this day, but not as potent as before) everyday I tried my best to improve but no matter what i always feel down. Eventually she ended the relationship, which was the best case scenario because I was at an all time low and couldn’t get back up. I know the cliche of being there for someone no matter what happens and blah blah blah. But she did everything in her power to be there and nothing ever worked. What makes all of this awful is that her family loved me so much. And worst of all, I lost her, not just someone I loved romantically, but someone who was beyond a best friend, someone I could talk to like it was nothing, someone I cherished. I’m afraid of making that mistake again, yes I have learned from my mistakes but that doesn’t mean I can’t make the same one twice.
2026-09-02 20:06:49