Codependency Kate
Region: US
Wednesday 02 September 2026 16:05:30 GMT
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𖡼𖥧𖤣❀ Angela (๑ᵔ⤙ᵔ๑) ❀𖤣𖥧𖡼 :
The one thing I think makes this topic difficult for parents of older children is whether our children are coming to us making a request for asking a question with any sincerity or whether they essentially already know the answer to their question, but they want to engage in some kind of exchange with us for sport. An insincere communication style is really common with older kids . And as soon as you take them seriously and respond in a way that gives them the benefit of the doubt, they are entertained by it and will take the topic into areas of absurdity. It’s exhausting. Before I knew the word childism, I believed in treating children like people, and I got a lot of static from the other adults around me because of it over the years. It was rewarding and helped build the strong relationship I have today with my kids. But now that they’re older, it’s not as clear cut whether it’s best to approach every interaction with them from a place of validation and sincere communication or whether it makes more sense sometimes to match the level of sincerity that they’re bringing to the conversation. But as soon as we as adults don’t fully lean in to sincere communication about any topic they raise, we somehow put some of the burden of the conversation back on the child to raise the topic in a more acceptable way, I feel like we are asking too much of them and parentifying. What would you recommend in the case of children raising topics in a flippant way, seemingly just for sport, already knowing the request or question borders on the absurd? Call them out? Let them down gently? Ask them to come back to the conversation when they’re ready to have a conversation with a more sincere energy ?
2026-09-07 22:21:50
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Xeina Aveyard :
Do you think it's part of childism that as a society we dont tend to tell children when they are being neglected or abused? Or is that a genuinely good approach? For example, a 10 year old is being neglected and emotionally abused, often the people around them might comment on it to each other, or occasionally some level of services might get involved, but very rarely (unless its sexual or severe physical abuse) is the child directly told that they're being treated wrong. I often think if someone had told me as a child that my parents were behaving wrong I might not have internalised it all so much. Or is it the case that a child can't cope with that sort of information, especially if they can't escape the abuse?
2026-09-02 23:08:44
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anothernobodyontiktok :
I had a HUGE realisation the other week in my own parenting when my 12 year old son came to be tearfully telling me to explicitly state the house rules because he’s tired of being corrected for rules he didn’t know existed and that’s been sitting with me HEAVY for a bit……..
2026-09-03 22:08:48
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nada1990 :
What’s annoying/exhausting is all the “whataboutism” that’s not sincere. People will come up with any reason to argue with healthy parenting, because they want to continue lazy and abusive parenting. 🙄 You should not have children if you’re not going to deeply think and intentionally raise them. It’s a human being, not an accessory. Even when we talk about how yes you need to give reasons for your decisions. ADDITIONALLY: If a kid starts turning your reason into an argument… Then it is appropriate to stop explaining and day something like: I am not getting into an argument about this. I’ve explained this type of thing to you before. The answer is no, and you can use your critical thinking skills. Why do you think I said no?
2026-09-02 20:10:44
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nfisher74 :
Fully agree. Basic human decency shouldn't be so controversial.
2026-09-02 20:40:04
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Jac 🇨🇦♾️🏳️🌈📚🤓🧘🏻♀️ :
It’s about respect for the emotional stage their child is at.
2026-09-02 17:31:42
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hmchileanyway :
This is all I wanted from my parents 🥹
2026-09-02 20:39:05
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Krista :
Whether it’s a yes or no comes down to our wisdom and experience as adults. How we talk to them depends on if we see them as people who have thoughts & feelings… that we care about 🥰
2026-09-02 19:18:04
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djoj :
Jeez... Anytime we stand up for children, no matter if it's about gentle parenting, childism, not spanking etc. the only thing those people make from it is "we can't say no to basic normal things anymore". Basically so we say, no that's not true and I'm that way trying to get a confirmation that their actual abuse is okay. Talking about the wrong thing on purpose... They already know that that's not what's being meant..
2026-09-03 10:46:41
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