@styledbysurvival: Replying to @clairem4385 Sometimes control doesn’t look like someone openly attacking you. Sometimes they create the problem, shape the way everyone else sees you, and then step in as the comforting person who “saves” you from the very situation they helped create. This comment reminded me of one of the clearest examples from my own marriage—and once I saw the pattern, I couldn’t unsee it. I’m not speculating about anyone else’s relationship. I’m talking about mine, and why certain dynamics make survivors stop and think. #CoerciveControl #EmotionalAbuse #NarcissisticAbuse #DVSurvivor #AbuseAwareness

Renee | Styled By Survival ✦
Renee | Styled By Survival ✦
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Wednesday 02 September 2026 16:35:41 GMT
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styledbysurvival
Renee | Styled By Survival ✦ :
Ps don’t ever go to marriage counseling with your abuser
2026-09-02 16:40:57
71
rebekah_erin_
Rebekah :
Yesss my ex husband made me believe I was always at fault. I apologized for everything when I did nothing wrong
2026-09-02 17:02:03
29
jennjohnson256
Jennie :
Fortunately, my therapist recognized my ex for who he truly was and described him as showing up like a knight in shining armor on a white horse……
2026-09-02 21:06:38
14
mothing11
Mothing :
My counsellor refused to do marriage counselling with an abuser now I see why
2026-09-02 21:03:27
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clairem4385
ClaireEmm23 :
Oh that’s so gross! 😒 It’s also upsetting that the therapist couldn’t even see through any of it
2026-09-02 19:08:20
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jaime.brazzell.fe
😼Jaime Claire Brazzell ♥️🤷 :
mine dragged me to couples therapy and cried about how sorry he was for having an affair while still having the affair.
2026-09-02 21:36:19
16
michelle_lynn72
Shellie_Beean :
I have actually sat in that exact same room with the exact same counselor, metaphorically of course
2026-09-02 20:40:13
7
auroradaun999
auroradaun999 :
Same thing happened to me it’s ridiculous
2026-09-03 17:50:32
3
_noodles.076
nOOdles :
I went thru exactly THIS….
2026-09-03 23:18:45
2
cecelala200
CEC200 :
My abusive ex called himself a fixer. He acted like he fixed all my numerous, ever present problems. Of course the truth was that HE was the problem and I had to accommodate, explain, make things right for what he did. I hate that ppl fall for their lives.
2026-09-14 05:11:13
0
wahine_waka
Adie :
OMG! Yes!! I had this!! ……….. Him telling you he didn’t like how hard the therapist went at you was his excuse to not go back, disguised as protecting you. Really it’s because he knew he couldn’t continue the act longer than the initial visit? Mmmhhmmmm
2026-09-06 15:31:27
1
dizzyizzyarts
dizzyizzyart :
see this is why I'm so grateful for people like you who share your stories. i thought I deconstructed all the ab*se from my ex teen years ago and your story reminded me of something VERY similar happening. OMG. I'm so sorry you went through that though.
2026-09-04 00:29:29
5
bonny_ob
BonnyO :
Been there & done that. I got upset & walked out once the therapist started in on me. Unfortunately, Im still in this relationship (its a long story) & Im surviving... I guess you can say but Im at my breaking point.😞
2026-09-04 21:28:41
3
amberndaniels
amberndaniels🆘️🇺🇸🗽🔥 :
my narcissist ex-husband would throw out "well let's just go to therapy", "why dont you want to go to therapy", etc and my response was "why?! so you can go put on a facade and fake charm the therapist?..."
2026-09-03 05:42:22
2
jarucia
PNWTeacherMom :
Literally marriage counseling with my first husband after he cheated with a long-distance ex he never stopped speaking with for a decade (I later found out about) THEN he experienced a psychotic break that I was responsible for navigating since he was untethered from reality. And had to hear ALL of this was my fault for not being supportive. I was too baselessly hopeful despite not being naive.
2026-09-03 14:52:48
1
phish.f00d
Phish Food 🦞 :
Mine did the exact same thing all the time. One time he physically attacked me for hours at a time, was chest bumping me and screaming “hit me, hit me” in my face, and then when I finally told him I was going to defend myself, he called the police. He then told the police a completely different story and when the police treated me like crap, he acted like he was somehow saving me from his own lies lol
2026-09-02 18:45:45
10
observationnation123
WatchListenLearn :
So glad you got out. I’m so sorry 💔 Also, f that therapist…. Honestly a decent amount of therapists out there damaging folks I’m afraid (as well as many also saving/improving lives. Life sure is complicated)….
2026-09-05 03:17:03
1
..sheri..73
sheri73 :
Where did that marriage counselor get their certification? From a cracker jack box? That's insane. So sorry you had to deal with that.
2026-09-03 02:05:52
2
kellydstrimple
🔥Kelly❤️‍🔥Dawn❤️ :
The therapist was probably his friend or he paid him to play the part!! 😡 Sorry you had to go through that! That’s horrible!! 🙏🏻🫶🏻♥️
2026-09-03 04:34:39
1
lilonion44
Lil_onion :
let me guess. he picked the marriage counselor
2026-09-04 08:14:42
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