Carrie 3, 2026 — [Satire]**
The USS Abraham Lincoln rnd, on September 2 for a holiday visit. By the afternoon of September 3, Myanmar’s newly appointed commander-in-chief, Ye Win Oo, allegedly announced that Myanmar was ready to target Pattaya with heavy weapons and sink the U.S. aircraft carrier.
“Of the more than 5,000 people aboard, let just one of them turn toward Naypyidaw and cough. They won’t have a ship to return to. It’ll go straight to the bottom of the sea. If you don’t believe me, try coughing—‘Achoo!’” Ye Win Oo reportedly said.
He added that surveillance operations were focused mainly on Pattaya’s 7-Eleven stores, using Chinese-made “surveillance condoms,” with free AI allegedlyey turn toward Naypyidaw and even sneeze, their ship will become a little aquarium on the seabed,” he reportedly concluded.
Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece created for entertainment purposes only
2026-09-03 17:55:48
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