@narcfamilies: Hi, it's Juliana! There are three ways of thinking narcissistic parents tend to share. The first is seeing their children as an extension of themselves instead of a separate person. You can think of this like the relationship you have with your hand. It isn't a separate being. It's part of you. So imagine if it tried setting a boundary with you or told you to keep something to yourself. Would you listen? You'll probably just do whatever you want, right? Because it's YOUR hand. It's part of you, so you get to decide what happens. And that's more or less what you're seeing in the first and third scene. The second is a zero-sum mentality. This means they don't believe there can be two winners. If one person wins, another person always has to lose. So when things are going well in your life, they don't think: "Good for them." They think: "If things are going good for them, then they must be going bad for me." Then they'll often do something to put you down to lift themselves up: “I was getting straight A's when I was your age.” So they can feel like they're "winning" again. The third is viewing relationships as transactional. You can think of this like the relationship you have with your phone. It's not a person. It's a tool. It exists to do what you want, when you want it. So imagine one day it just wouldn't turn on. You might say something like: "But I charged you last night?!" Even though that's the bare minimum. That's what's going on here. They treat things like feeding you, clothing you, and putting a roof over your head as things you owe them for, the same way you expect your phone to turn on because you charged it. But you don't owe your parent for being a parent. That’s the bare minimum If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me. My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us. To your healing, Juliana ❤️‍🩹

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Thursday 03 September 2026 03:22:16 GMT