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im tired of feeling like I'm always there for everyone, but when I need someone, the only thing that comes back is silence. Tired of being that person who listens, who gives advice, who keeps you company, who remembers dates, who asks how you're doing even when no one ever asks about me. Tired of giving so much love and feeling like it never takes up the same space in other people's hearts.
It hurts to realize that you are important, yes, but never enough. That you're a "good friend", a "great person", "someone special", but never anyone's favorite. Never the first choice. Never that person they look for as soon as something good or bad happens in their lives. I always seem to be stuck in the middle, where everyone likes me, but no one really chooses me.
And the worst part is you start to wonder what's wrong with you. What you're missing. Why it seems so easy for others to receive that mutual love that always slips through my fingers. Because I do know how to love. I really care. I stay. I listen even when I'm broken. But sometimes I feel like none of that matters when it never comes back with the same intensity.
It's exhausting to feel like you give parts of yourself that no one would ever give for you. To see how you make room for everyone while no one seems to make room for you. And still stay, because even though it hurts, you end up getting used to being other people's refuge while you have nowhere to take refuge yourself.
Sometimes I wish I could stop worrying so much. Stop replying so fast, stop checking in, stop trying to be enough for everyone. Because it's exhausting to feel like the love you give always weighs less when it comes back. It's exhausting to see how people have their "favorite person", their priority, their safe place… and to understand that you've never been that for anyone.
And yes, maybe no one is obligated to love us the way we love, but that doesn't stop it from hurting. It doesn't stop that feeling of emptiness when you realize that probably no one thinks about you as intensely as you think about them. That while you hold on to conversations, moments and little details with care, to others you're just someone else amon
2026-10-01 08:17:13