@kinacptsdtherapist: Resources ✨ For therapists: Trainings, recorded courses, consultation groups, and attachment trauma resources at KinaWolfensteinTraining.com Patreon: Educational content and clinical resources for therapists at Patreon.com/ComplexTraumaRecovery For everyone: Upcoming webinars on emotional neglect and attunement, plus my Attachment Workbook and other resources, at KinaWolfensteinTraining.com
What about the scapegoat? ( this possible for the scapegoat Or a combination of the parentified + being the scapegoat? )
2026-09-08 07:56:32
0
Tiff :
Finding out that I wasn't responsible for my mother's emotions at the age of 52 knocked me on my ass!! 😂 Better late than never?
2026-09-03 15:16:30
216
Bree Miller :
One thing that can be so confusing is when you're parentified and trying to care for your parent but then they sometimes lash out at you for it and make you feel like you're being manipulative. I was simultaneously praised for being so mature/caring but then my parent would turn people against me and I would be seen as bad for being too mature at the "wrong" times
2026-09-07 18:25:48
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Hannah :
Learning myself at 25 is EXHAUSTING
2026-09-03 15:26:11
35
posthuman :
is there a place we can send in questions to you?
2026-09-07 16:52:18
0
the_bilingual_arquitect :
Immigrant families 🙈 it's so hard being the emotional, social, and linguistic support for your parents. And then I hear adult children minimize it by saying things like "I admire my parents for sacrificing so much for me". Yes, they did, but we also sacrificed our childhood and our emotional support needs. That's not insignificant.
2026-09-03 16:05:41
113
Brooke :
With an ace score of 10, I can say this is in the top 3 most long term damaging things for me personally
2026-09-03 18:16:15
38
Alex Evenstar :
"I'm like the family therapist. Once everyone else's emotions are dealt with then I can deal with my own. Often after my parents and sister have fights I have to go to each of them to help them calm down."
.
More or less exactly what I said to so many people in my life and was praised for it smh.
This specific flavor of emotional neglect is so hard to find anything useful about.
2026-09-03 15:56:19
79
Candeelion :
I never felt like a kid. Not ever. 😞
2026-09-03 23:40:46
18
Heather :
God your videos are so spot on every time. My mom had a lot of trauma, and did this to us. Meanwhile my dad was autistic and couldn't connect with us.
2026-09-04 15:26:42
7
hootforholler :
is there a way to change this dynamic without pulling away entirely?
I feel like it's so hard to undo the part of my brain that sees my mom as a child.
2026-09-03 17:03:53
20
Madison Claire :
This. Exactly this. I would describe my relationship with my mom as being some odd stand in spouse or being a mom to my mom, while I was the child. Connecting with her was always one sided because it was mainly about her and what she needed.
2026-09-03 16:11:39
28
Eclectic⚡Aesthetic :
I'm 42. My mother is 69. Just last week she tried to guilt me into accompanying her to a medical appointment because it was "scary."
Mind you, I have my own life-threatening incurable chronic illness and have undergone multiple invasive procedures and surgeries without her support.
2026-09-03 16:29:18
26
AlmostEntropy :
Can you talk about any key distinctions between this and a relationship where it isn't fully role reversal, but the parent is fragile and survives by complete suppression of any emotions that aren't 100% positive, and similarly requires that of the kids? It isn't quite the same as requiring the kids to caretake for the parent, but suppression of all anger/sadness/any big emotion, and the requirement that young kids take on all of that emotional management on their own, still feels like parentification in a way and prevents that kid from feeling known, being able to receive emotional support, etc.
2026-09-03 16:31:05
19
cruxbie :
could you please recommend books or workbooks for people who cannot afford therapy and have childhood emotional neglect? I want to work on myself
2026-09-04 16:22:59
5
fitletsbebold :
lol. still parenting my mom. my brother got the worst of things tho. for some reason I just got frustrated with my mom at a young age for being so unstable. realized I had to rely on myself. my brother on the other hand is still very enmeshed with her. they're frustrating to deal with
2026-09-04 03:54:00
6
luvallrainbows :
yup. then showing my emotions got me made fun of or screamed at for hours and told repeatedly it was my fault my mom was unstable. I was a teen.
2026-09-03 20:19:23
5
Leah :
I distinctly remember the empty feeling of one of the moments when I realised how alone in the world I would be without my not-OK mother, and realising I had to get her to keep it together so she could parent me
2026-09-04 06:40:58
5
FluffYaBae :
Now imagine having both parents do this to the only child, a daughter. Yeah, I'm not OK as an adult with two parents like this
2026-09-03 18:03:41
10
Carl :
someone needs to send this to my parents. they need to know what they did.
2026-09-03 15:53:08
5
KPone :
I’m so frustrated that I wasted 51 years to learn this. Thankfully I did better with my own kids but I feel like I have so much to learn. I’m low contact with my remaining parent and siblings now
2026-09-03 16:17:46
5
rongplaceright :
True
2026-09-03 19:51:10
1
PLANET.QUIL 🪐 :
Can you talk about emotionally neglect as an adult
2026-09-06 14:30:50
1
lizzardchris :
my mom actually threatened to abandon us, threatened to unalive herself, etc anytime my brother or I would make her upset so I became scared to upset her. it got so bad that we couldn't even talk about our experiences or feelings without her getting upset. my dad was abusive and alcoholic. its a whole mess I cant even put to words everything together
2026-09-06 03:54:48
4
🦋T :
This is my mom and this is hard at 44
2026-09-03 18:00:11
4
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