Codependency Kate
Region: US
Friday 04 September 2026 18:17:51 GMT
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Aaron T :
Hahaha yeah that ‘assertiveness’ ends in me being abused in multiple ways even as an adult so yeahhhh no that does not work
2026-09-06 02:23:22
6
Zee’s Life :
My assertiveness has always been received as being rude and thus being a “bad child”.
2026-09-04 18:34:37
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Gingerbstrong :
After a lifetime of being treated badly, parents don’t put up with aggressive push back! They never see you as an equal!!
2026-09-04 20:22:38
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Carl :
told my mom I need her to ask me questions about myself with genuine curiosity. my mom refuses to learn how to do this or to acknowledge the need under my request. but because I won't pretend everything is fine my mom accused me of bullying and playing power games. assertiveness is not the problem.
2026-09-04 18:34:36
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anothernobodyontiktok :
I’m confused as to why people believe that therapy and therapists encourages estrangement. Every therapist I’ve seen has been focused on helping to build mental and emotional skill sets. Is that not the point of therapy? To learn skills?
2026-09-05 20:23:59
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emmett :
My therapist didn’t push for me to cut off my parents, she just helped me set boundaries until I expressed that I thought I had to be done with them. When I did she supported it and we talked it through over several sessions before I made the decision that it was ultimately for the best. If therapists would push for anything other than what’s best for the patient just because they don’t think anyone should be no contact with their parents then they shouldn’t be therapists
2026-09-04 18:35:53
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Ronin175 :
lol I stopped being “assertive” for that same reason. So instead I’ve just been calmly pointing out holes in what they’ve said (not passive aggressive, just direct) in every call we have… for context Im autistic so its not hard for me to notice these things. I’m still framed as having an attitude when I’m cool as a cucumber the entire time and have to listen to their meltdown..
2026-09-07 06:12:35
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🐻 Gomez 🐻 :
My daughter’s therapist did such a good job putting things in order in my head. And I was, in no way, doing anything as bad as my mom. I thought I was doing such a great job but there was still more to do. I’m so glad she was part of our lives, I’m a better mom that bc of her and my daughter is so much more emotionally prepared.
2026-09-04 21:06:35
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Alexandra :
I have to stay so unreasonably calm or they feel straight up ATTACKED. otherwise its seen as an emotional outburst and I'm not in my right mind. funny thing is, when they keep pushing and I finally get firm/ set a boundary, they shut up usually. They know there's a real convo to be had and they don't want to face the music. they're big on "self improvement" btw
2026-09-04 19:00:18
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TheMeganClub :
Currently doing coparent therapy with my ex. Our child is doing reunification therapy with him with the same therapist. You are correct. She talks big about boundaries but then gets angry if we set them. She allows him to be abusive to us during sessions and then blames us for making the session tense if we address it. HE is allowed to act abusive, WE are not allowed to object.
2026-09-05 07:58:19
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Karah Morgan :
THIS 100 PERCENT! you have to EARN the right to be heard and taken seriously and by the time you do (like once your an adult) you have zero ABILITY to do it because they didn't allow you to learn it when you were developing
2026-09-04 18:53:25
9
✴️ :
i kinda don't like the way "childism" implies just a cognitive distortion that could be rehabilitated, while so many parents are straight up brain damaged beyond rehabilitation in the way they don't even have internal templates to relate to children (and all other people) as real
2026-09-04 18:48:37
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Expanding consciousness :
A good one will call out abuse and tell the parent and I have seen that done. Many parents don’t realize what is abusive but a good therapist does and will tell you in a kind way.
2026-09-04 19:58:24
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Kya :
Right but when you are assertive or set boundaries these same parents can’t handle it and that’s when the relationship really breaks down
2026-09-07 12:22:34
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HumanHickory :
my mom kept sending me to therapy and my therapists (multiple) would always side with her and tell her everything I said, and then she was shocked when I stopped talking to therapists.
2026-09-04 20:56:11
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Life is but a dream_ :
Omg the other day at work I was talking to an older colleague and I mentioned about an uncomfortable interaction I had with another colleague, that I felt I was being assertive. My colleague thought being assertive was a negative trait to express in the workplace and chided me for it!
2026-09-05 15:51:13
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Julie :
Your work is SOOO IMPORTANT ♥️
2026-09-07 14:04:03
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tapespool :
not sure if this works as parents have legal custody of their kids, and "cutting off" is a state power (cps, court order), so reconciliation is the primary aim (save safeguarding), which is reinforced by the parent sending the kid to therapy i.e. the problem lies with the kid. it would be interesting to review numbers and content of their safeguarding reports against comparatives who are agnostic about adult estrangement. do they report psychological, emotional abuse/risk, as well as physical/sexual abuse/risk. are their reports qualitatively different (source of harm identified (self v others, parents v teachers etc); clear/defined/evidenced concern/disclosure v suspicion; more serious in nature or harm/potential harm, etc) indicating they're applying a higher threshold than mandated
2026-09-06 16:08:20
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Rando :
that's so wild. like when kids walk into my office and the parents aren't involved it's basically just teaching the kid to survive the next few years and hold space for them.
2026-09-05 02:41:17
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Sage :
i can attest that being assertive has not worked at all 💀
2026-09-05 01:10:23
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Mallory :
Exactly because there’s little probability with a parent has changed at all in those years. At least in the way they relate to their children.
2026-09-05 00:13:18
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Nia :
when I told my therapist I was thinking about going no contact with my mom, she referred to it as setting boundaries for my mental health and growth. any time we discuss her, she acknowledges and commends me for setting boundaries with her. she has never made me feel like it was a bad or unhealthy choice. instead, she guided me through that process as I saw fit.
2026-09-04 21:56:11
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Lauren85586 :
If I was assertive as a teen I would have been put down so fast. Trying to be assertive now, I get nowhere. I’m done trying to be heard.
2026-09-07 17:23:00
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