Chelsea Fagan
Region: US
Saturday 05 September 2026 22:18:21 GMT
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user524 :
I've also noticed that parents always talk about how having a child taught them how to be selfless and put another person first. but from the outside it just looks like they transferred the target of the selfishness we all have from themselves to their children. sure they're putting their children first and seeing specialness in them and fighting for them to get the best. but it ends there and doesn't expand to the rest of the world. Just to who the see as an extension of themselves.
2026-09-06 04:08:55
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Coffeeandacomputer :
I think that drive to have exceptional children stems from a shared recognition that the quality of life for the median American in not super great comparatively.
2026-09-05 23:37:45
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Sydney :
I think constantly telling your children how special and exceptional you think they are is actually extremely damaging to their self perception, work ethic, and concept of others.
2026-09-05 23:16:45
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jason | late stage bestie :
Chelsea, you touched on something I’ve been thinking about for a while: the upper-middle-class Asian American “tiger parent” stereotype is often narcissism disguised as sacrifice. It gets framed as selflessness “I gave up everything for my children” ….but the child is still expected to become proof of the parent’s success. It’s the same ol logic european and asian feudalism runs on: preserving the family name, status, and legacy at all costs. That isn’t selflessness. It’s trying to achieve selfish immortality through your line. I might do a video on this, ty!
2026-09-07 21:03:03
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Jaime Elana Pelletier :
Being average is such a good thinggggg ugh why do people not grasp that
2026-09-06 00:01:54
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SoundsFake_ButOkay :
as a teacher, my patience is at an all time high listening to a relative talk about how advanced one of the kids is. MMHM SURE. DEFINITELY NOT SUPER AVERAGE AND NORMAL AND DELIGHTFUL.
2026-09-05 22:31:11
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Mar :
Yep, I think some of it has to do with deep-seated class anxiety.
2026-09-06 00:17:39
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katekate4646 :
There’s a lack of self awareness with many parents. One of the best pieces advice I received when my first kid was born was “your child will be amazing/exceptional/so special to you…but you can’t expect others to feel or behave the same”. I think sometimes these systems capitalize on how badly many parents want that validation from others.
2026-09-06 00:28:40
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☆ 𝘎𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 :
I am a lash artist and a large majority of my clients have children. When I tell you EVERY SINGLE ONE of them regards their child as “highly gifted” and “above their class” it really showed me how no matter what- parents will always have a bias towards their kids, which is not a bad thing! It’s just interesting to see how almost every parents thinks their child is well above average
2026-09-06 19:34:20
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Renegade Nelly :
I think I understand what you mean. It looks a little different in the global south, because it occurs in political climates that equate prestige with survival. You shame your family by not allowing them to have bragging rights. Rather than spotting and cultivating specialsness, it's spotting competencies and using them to create specialness. Have a basic grasp of mathematics? Engineer. Talk a lot? Lawyer. Decent biology grades? Doctor. I met so many people in university that would joke that they're doing their "mother's degree". You have parents spending thousands because they know you COULD excel in a particular field. You're blamed for wasting their money if you fail to be the version of "special" that they chose for you.
2026-09-05 23:26:33
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Shana4755 :
I will die on the hill that there is no such thing as a gifted or advanced child. Every person is good at something and it's just about whether or not those skills/talents can be discovered in the systems we live in and how nurtured they are. Also people who live in competitive societies where being "better" than others is a flex are going to want to view their children as special
2026-09-06 16:39:44
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Xalandra :
I think it’s an issue that ties into capitalism. The more special you are the more potential to earn more and do better for yourself/the family. I used to be in a gifted and talented program. I took the test and passed, my mom asked how I felt about it and I asked “that was fun, when can I do it again?!” But my highest paying job I got was through regular customer service. I live a more or less comfortable life ( it’s harder with gas prices going the way the are) but it also a fairly average life.
2026-09-06 00:58:13
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kolacey :
I have three children. They are young, so it’s not like any has accomplished anything particular. I don’t think any of them are more capable or special than the others BUT there is one that people come talk to me about all the time and whose name everyone remembers (not for being a prodigy, just for being funny). You kind of learn if your child stands out to others.
2026-09-05 22:28:33
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Elise Loves Smells :
Unrelated but I genuinely love how you are always laying down
2026-09-06 06:59:40
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Sew Practical Fabulous :
so my thoughts on this is that parents send kids to 'good' schools and hobbies not to cultivate their specialness but to cultivate their social network and class. saying it's about skill and talent is the acceptable front
2026-09-06 14:54:58
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ughfine :
It's interesting because hearing a young child is advanced in something doesn't like, impress me. Like yeah your five year old who's reading chapter books is cute. So is the five year old who's still learning their letters. But I think that's parents being competitive with each other more than anything.
2026-09-05 23:37:22
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Sarah Biggers-Stewart :
It’s both fascinating and troubling when you have kids, too. Like I’m VERY aware of it and still, as you said, I get caught up in it anyway. I think it’s an anxiousness in the modern world of wondering how your kid will “hack it” when so much has changed and hunting for metrics that alleviate that stress.
2026-09-06 12:26:38
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orchids.budget :
I'm so so so glad I have average children with average abilities and interests. Life can be so difficult for gifted children. They can get burnt out before college.
2026-09-06 08:19:59
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Cute Boot McToot :
I firmly believe that it would be fine for the bar on human excellence to be lowered so that children are not funneled into such serious and intensive training from a young age if they ever want to have a shot at special careers like athletics and the arts. I am so passionate about children learning and experiencing through movement, art, exercise, etc, but there is no world where children need to be dedicating their lives to ANYTHING in such a serious way. If ballet suffers as a discipline because people aren’t molding their bodies from age 3 to be “perfect” for it, I can totally live with that (and I love ballet).
2026-09-05 23:33:27
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debby owusu :
I worked at a bookstore and whenever I was in the children’s section parents would always come up to me and ask to recommend their kids a book with the pretense that their kids reading level is “MUCH higher than average and way more advanced.” I’d ask the kid what the last book they read was and it was often like.. diary of a wimpy kid….no shame in that at all, but it was just so fascinating to see/hear how disillusioned these parents were bc of how tied their kids “exceptionalism” was to their own identity. Still one of the most jarring aspects of that job ….i still see it and I’m in my 20s. Def freaks me out when thinking abt having kids lol
2026-09-06 04:35:43
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Alex :
One of the wildest things is how this conversation even spans across special education in New York City. We’re solidly middle class in Brooklyn and have a disabled child and while we’ve sort of been freed from some of the “high achievement shackles” a little bit, there’s a whole world of prohibitively expensive special schools for kids with specific disabilities that have a sense of…exclusivity to them? It’s a lot!
2026-09-06 00:30:24
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lilrobtiktok :
No kids but my job focuses on university enrollment. It is all a business. All else being equal, everyone has to work hard, be smart, etc. Having money, being hot, lucky, or some combination of the 3 is what will get you ahead anywhere. Otherwise it’s about learning to code or whatever, 10 years before anyone is telling that to kids.
2026-09-05 22:42:54
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Darby | silly xray goose 🩻✨🪿 :
The private school stuff is gnarly dude I don’t get that mindset. As a parent of one. Plenty of people who graduated from my public high school are highly influential musicians, physicians, teachers… it goes too far for sure
2026-09-06 01:55:47
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Kristen :
I think that need to cultivate specialness comes from a few places. 1. Our culture is incredibly individualistic. Being special means something here rather than being apart of the collective. 2. Access to opportunities and education is reserved first and foremost to those who are special. 3. We have a weird unspoken parent Olympics here. Everyone wants to feel like their kid is the best or most special. Everyone wants to brag about their kid. Even from the time they’re born. “My little Jenny is crawling!” “Well, MY little Emma has been crawling for over a month now”.
2026-09-14 15:14:38
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evrmln :
The day untrue things come out of your mouth, I'll be heartbroken. This again being a very correct take.
2026-09-08 18:06:09
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