@beaconpostpartum: Okay this is going to sound kinda stupid because it does NOT make my baby sleep longer, it does not magically make me less tired, and it definitely does not stop the 3am rage when I finally get her down and she opens her eyes the SECOND I touch the bassinet 😂😭 But it has made those middle of the night wakeups feel so much less awful. For me, 3am is just different. During the day my baby can be crying and I’m like okay… hungry? diaper? tired? gas? let’s figure this out. At 3am??? She makes ONE weird noise and suddenly my brain has opened 47 tabs 😭 Is she breathing normally? Did she eat enough? Why is she awake again? Should I change her before or after feeding? Wait when was her last diaper? Why does she feel warm? Is the room too warm? Should I Google that? And then obviously I Google it and immediately wish I hadn’t 😂 Meanwhile my husband is sleeping. The house is silent. My friends are asleep. My mom is asleep. Every group chat I have is completely dead. And I’m sitting there in the nursery with one boob out, hair looking absolutely insane, trying to burp a tiny human while convincing myself that I’m apparently the only person left awake on planet earth 🫠 That’s the part I wasn’t prepared for postpartum. The loneliness. Everyone tells you about sleep deprivation. Everyone tells you newborns eat constantly. Everyone tells you you’ll be changing a million diapers. Nobody really explains what it feels like to sit in a completely dark house at 3:14am while the rest of the world seems to be sleeping. And somehow every problem feels bigger in the dark. A few nights ago I found this app that has a map showing other moms who are awake. I opened it during a feeding and there were yellow lights EVERYWHERE. Like…wait. Those are moms??? 🥹 One is probably pumping. One is making a bottle. One is rocking a baby who has apparently declared sleep her mortal enemy 😂 One is washing pump parts AGAIN. One is scrolling with her phone brightness at approximately 0.0002%. One is staring at the bassinet thinking “if you wake up during this transfer I may actually lose it” 😭 One is eating a granola bar because she suddenly realized she hasn’t eaten in 9 hours. And they’re all awake WITH me. I know that sounds like such a small thing. But omg it changed something in my brain. Because I didn’t need another sleep tip. I didn’t need someone telling me to “sleep when the baby sleeps” 🙃 I didn’t need a perfect feeding schedule or another video explaining wake windows. I just needed proof that I wasn’t the only one awake. That’s literally it. Now when I’m having one of THOSE nights, I’ll open the map. And instead of feeling like I’m sitting alone in this tiny dark room at some ridiculous hour, I picture all those other nurseries lit up around the country. All these moms doing the same little routine. Feed. Burp. Change. Rock. Attempt transfer. Hold breath. Baby wakes up. Question existence. Repeat. 😂😭 And weirdly…it helps. Not because motherhood suddenly gets easier. Last night I still got spit up on twice. I still couldn’t remember which side I fed from last. I still spent 20 minutes getting her asleep only for her to wake up approximately 11 seconds later 🫠 But I didn’t feel like I was doing it completely by myself. And I think that’s what I needed more than another “hack.” Sometimes you don’t need someone to fix the night. You just need another mom to be awake in it with you. 🥺💛 So if you’re reading this at 2am, 3am, 4am… feeding, pumping, rocking, bouncing, scrolling, crying, or whispering “PLEASE GO TO SLEEP” to someone who cannot understand English yet 😂❤️ there are other moms awake too. A LOT of them. And idk…knowing that makes 3am feel a little less lonely. 💛 #mom #baby #MomsofTikTok #momtok #momlife

beaconpostpartum

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Sunday 06 September 2026 02:04:56 GMT