Bree | Psychology
Region: US
Sunday 06 September 2026 18:09:04 GMT
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KALI :
The irony is ppl with anxious attachment style don’t get as much flack because all the avoidants are avoiding the conversation 😂😂
2026-09-07 15:07:15
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mmidas15 :
Every abusive relationship ive been in wether friends or dating has been with an anxious attachment person. I just avoid interacting with them in general at this point. Cause wdym if i dont text you good morning your gonna kill urself 😭 its not that deep
2026-09-08 21:19:53
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mister.mercuri :
me, a dismissive avoidant, trying to figure out we became the capital A Abusers in everyone’s fantasies while also being the most classically prone to eloping + self-erasure 🤠
2026-09-06 18:29:36
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Roxana Waterman :
Former anxious person here- I think that's a huge part that isn't discussed. Anxious attachment at its root is very controlling and demanding. It just speaks differently than Dismissive.
2026-09-06 20:18:07
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dalton3454 :
Tbf while yes severe anxious ppl can be controlling trying to get closeness… Avoidants are extremely controlling (through distance) what happens when u experience a need? They dismiss it, blame shift, stone wall, or run away, what happens when u try to have a conversation about intimacy or the relationship? They dismiss it, blame shift, stone wall, or run away. What happens when u try to fix conflict but they just hear an attack? They dismiss it, blame shift, stone wall, or run away… They Control when or if u talk, connect, are physically or emotionally intimate…. That is controlling
2026-09-08 02:41:43
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333 :
People act like avoidants are evil horrible people. Like I just want to be left alone. I told you I just wanted to be left alone. You thought you would change me and it turns out you should just have left me alone.
2026-09-09 10:51:31
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Meld0yAfterb00b :
I’m disorganized, but mostly an anxious girlie. I’m BAFFLED by the lack of flack we get because we’re also hella toxic.
2026-09-06 18:17:06
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Steve :
Anxious Mafia is gonna be rowdy tonight, and they're never gonna leave you alone. Ever. You're gonna hear about this a lot.
2026-09-06 22:22:16
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Jen :
I think anxious people look more coercive because they show anger outwardly and try and control the situation by ‘doing’ that’s why we think ‘oh they are more controlling’ ‘they are more angry’ but if you look under the surface - avoidant people are also just as angry but it’s silent - it comes across as ice! They freeze you out but underneath that iciness is anger and lots of other emotions that will eventually come out sideways…and also it’s pretty controlling to keep freezing out and shutting down 😌…i think all insecure attachments are controlling it just shows up very differently thats my take 😌☺️all I know is life is a hell of a lot easier the more secure you become 😍🤍
2026-09-06 18:26:07
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Link ⛓️ :
lol like imagine getting called abusive when youre literally not in the picture anymore! part of my avoidance and detachment is that I actually cant bring myself to continue to fight bc what if I *did* become verbally abusive by staying? yeah. im out.
2026-09-07 12:08:39
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crapestry :
thank you. I genuinely believe anxiously attached people will never see themselves as unhealthy until they’re paired with someone MORE anxious. nobody wins this made up battle except securely attached people.
2026-09-11 17:20:24
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Redheaded Brat :
I was a dismissive avoidant most of my life up until 7 years ago. I very much went out of my way to never intentionally harm my partners during that time. Just because someone is avoidant doesn’t mean that they’re actively being the worst person out there💀
2026-09-08 14:31:09
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LalaPo :
You would think more people would know this but anxiously attached people focus so much on the other person and avoid confronting the negative traits in themselves which is ironic 💀
2026-09-09 15:08:55
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mhysablackfyre :
Isn’t avoidant the easiest attachment style to heal?
2026-09-06 21:40:50
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🌜harlotte :
I completely agree as an anxious attachment girl. I look back at some of the things I used to do and cringe in horror. I’m grateful my boyfriend stayed with me and helped me work through it. I’m not perfect but it’s possible to improve yourself!!!
2026-09-06 18:19:03
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Mendoja :
Avoidants is just the new word for narcacist, like in 2020 when narcacist was the buzzword and everyone's ex was one
2026-09-09 06:34:26
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Teej :
hey former anxious attachment here- I love yall I'm sorry everyone hates 😭
2026-09-06 18:57:44
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Ziva 🦋🦋 :
if you are not securely attached you should be actively learning about all attachment styles and working on becoming more attached. period. -anxious attached working to become secure.
2026-09-07 16:06:42
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Mr. Pibb :
define controlling. standing up for yourself isn't controlling
2026-09-07 15:46:51
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Hanna🍉 :
I’m avoidant because of the controlling and abusive anxious attachment style exes…
2026-09-09 23:36:05
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Laura | Healing FA :
My own self from a couple months ago getting ready to fight you looooool
2026-09-06 19:43:43
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shifa :
I think a key difference is anxious ppl are often easier to identify from the jump, and therefore easier to avoid. In my experience w an avoidant, he seemed so secure at first! The avoidant tendencies came out when I was already emotionally attached
2026-09-07 16:02:07
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Venus🖤 :
I don't like this kind of tit for tat discourse because any attachment style can be manipulative! same with any mental illness! people need to focus on themselves instead of pointing the finger. It feels like avoiding accountability.
2026-09-07 13:30:11
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Just_Lindsey :
What we do, we all do, just in different ways. I hope one day we get to a place where it’s all in the light so much so that it’s undeniable.
2026-09-06 19:44:38
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Risto :
True, but I think it’s important to distinguish visible attempts to influence someone from actual relational power. Sometimes the person making the most obvious attempts to influence the relationship actually has less structural power, precisely because they’re more immediately dependent on the other person’s participation. That’s probably where the saying “the person who needs the relationship less has more power” comes from. It also helps explain why avoidant strategies are experienced as controlling. Withdrawal, distancing, and withholding participation can give the less immediately dependent person disproportionate control over the state of the relationship.
2026-09-06 18:37:11
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