Codependency Kate
Region: US
Tuesday 08 September 2026 13:46:41 GMT
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__a_birds_eye_view :
If parents aren’t the safe person then where else does the child have to go for safety? Creating safety is a basic part of parenting
2026-09-08 15:42:12
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Mike H :
I thought chronic discomfort was just, like, life? Like life is hard, everything sucks, what’s the alternative?
2026-09-08 20:45:00
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Lauren :
Would you say that childism is something that continues even into adulthood since as an adult I’m still positionally a “child” to my parents?
2026-09-08 17:39:31
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PDXRufus :
Exactly. The irony is that parents often estrange because they are told no by their kids for the first time ever and that feels like a threat to them. They can’t handle the role reversal in the childism dynamic they created. Rather than process that discomfort, it’s easier to call it disrespect and retreat to the recliner.
2026-09-08 14:37:22
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B :
My dad would always tell me my anxieties and fears were not real and then would do things like bang on the house windows at night to scare us or stop the car in the middle of the road at night and open the automatic van doors or windows and say the “boogeyman” was out there.
2026-09-30 10:53:39
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mmassacurr :
Raise your hand if you’re part of the ‘because I said so’ generation
2026-09-08 15:00:05
89
Lindsay Leigh 🏳️🌈 :
Every time I see “get out of your comfort zone” (a phrase especially prevalent in the spiritual community) , I think why?!?! When was I ever comfortable to begin with? This answers the root question. 😳😳😳 I posted this in 2022
2026-09-08 14:42:11
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roses_ofgold | Cosplay | YT&IG :
This is a huge problem, they’re creating a whole generation that doesn’t know why they’re experiencing trauma symptoms despite their parents saying things “weren’t that deep”
2026-09-08 23:49:58
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icametomeow :
Help me out: child is upset bc you say no. Saying: it’s ok to be upset that I said no; is that the validation? It feels like a fine line that I don’t want to confuse.
2026-09-09 18:25:00
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xronecore :
What I’ve found at the root of a lot of my trauma was that my parents did often dismiss or invalidate my discomfort, but also just couldn’t stay with me in it. It wasn’t experiencing discomfort itself but that I was left to learn how to deal with it all alone
2026-09-08 16:49:20
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Ash 🇨🇦 :
the part I dont get, is why do so many adults not explain why? I have a 5 year old. I have never had to say "because I said so" or "because im the boss". I always have a reason - the few times I didnt, I said "you know what? I think that was silly to say no to. i dont know why I said no, so, go ahead sweetie, its fine." it is surprising though how often I have leaned into saying no, only to realize I was just enforcing a dumb rule that has no purpose, from my parents "no" towards me. its why I always explain why. stupid reasons are not okay. she is a person and deserves that dignity.
2026-09-22 13:49:42
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B :
I used to dream of barricading myself in my bedroom as a small child so I could keep my parents from being able to get to me. It was that or I was gone to a neighbors house or to my grandmas. I never felt safe at home.
2026-09-08 15:46:22
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rubylashbrow :
GIRL you are GOOD, I’m suprised your not more viral
2026-09-09 05:05:29
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Lucy Craig :
There were only ever two states I could be in in my house: In Trouble, or Just Waiting To Be In Trouble
2026-09-08 16:15:57
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Suzysunshine :
My niece and nephews came to live with me due to their mother's abusive relationship. The way I've had to teach them how to ask a question. They'd hint around instead of asking outright because their mother's auto reply was no. no explanation. just no. They've been with me since 2022 and a direct question from any of them is a huge win.
2026-09-08 16:34:06
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wcnaintmything :
Being told “no” was the automatic default for one of my parents. It was only as a young adult that I realized this parent considered almost everything I said as a challenge to their authority, and responded through that lens initially and primarily. I challenged this person’s ego. They never outgrew that.
2026-09-09 15:13:54
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♥️ :
& all of this needs to be addressed & healed both individually & systemically. it’s all of our responsibility to challenge & create the changes needed to become a healthy, thriving society.
2026-09-08 16:13:16
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blandbandit :
That's why i'm grateful, my grandparent always explainEd to me, one way or the other, they explained? And I always understood, because of it, and I was able to have empathy. don't get me wrong. There was times I didn't like it, but I understood it
2026-09-08 15:45:24
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SolaceSoulless :
I needed to hear this!! I am pretty accepting 90% of the time but admittedly there are some times when my daughter says things that seem a bit dramatic to me but I remember being 13 and the world feeling like it was crashing down when I couldn’t do the thing I wanted to do. Even then I do validate her emotions but I tend to correct her expectations of other people right away and I should probably take more time to validate first.
2026-09-08 16:01:01
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Julie :
Understanding childism as we need them to would result in their realities crashing down, they can’t handle it
2026-09-09 11:23:02
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quinoarat :
My parents made me feel like wanting or asking for anything made me a selfish person. I'm in my 30s and I still have trouble asking for what I want or need.
2026-09-09 23:40:15
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Julie :
God i love how you stay on their necks
2026-09-09 11:21:30
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yourhomegrill :
If I have this and "Big T" stuff does that mean I have ptsd and cptsd. or just cptsd. Because the big T was complex too
2026-09-08 18:43:51
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Γιάννα 🧿🌹🫒🌻 :
In the beginning, I thought this was going to be about bodily comfort, so I'm curious if there's a term. Can you tell us what it's called when the parent is unable to accept that the child experiences different sensations in their body and has different physical needs than the parent? I went NC at 40 and am unpacking how unsafe it was to be a human around them. Like, constant criticism and "concerned questions" about my health bc they refuse to listen to my medical diagnoses or understand that I have different physical needs? I realized that I had to stay away bc it wasn't safe to be myself and I can't change my physical needs. Ex: I have mobility problems and chronic pain issues from a car accident so I can't get up and go first thing in the morning. I don't have a gallbladder and have complications so some foods are difficult and I use the bathroom frequently (I also think there is trauma there where the bathroom is historically the only quiet/private place to escape the family). Won't leave me alone to sleep, can't understand that I run hot and sleep with a fan. I'm in burnout due to stress and struggling w ARFID but parent harassed around me meals even though his eating schedule was unaffected. He had a leak he refused to acknowledge under the shower slab but tried to accuse me of letting water out of the curtain bc "I showered for too long" (15 minutes 🙄)... . . I mean, I guess it's abuse and it doesn't really matter bc I'm staying away but it does make me curious if there's an actual psychological term for parents who want to cause discomfort in their children and make it hard for them to care for their bodies and address physical needs that are different from their own personal bodily experiences??
2026-09-08 15:44:36
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kit :
ABSOLUTELY in parent-child dynamics, but not peer to peer
2026-09-08 15:39:01
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