@beaconpostpartum: I had one of those weird moments last night where I looked out the nursery window while feeding my baby and noticed a light on in another house. 3 something in the morning. Whole neighborhood completely dark. And there was this ONE little window glowing across the street. š„ŗ My first thought was literallyā¦ I wonder if thatās another mom. Maybe sheās feeding too. Maybe sheās pumping. Maybe sheās been trying to get her baby back to sleep for the last hour. Maybe she just did the worldās slowest bassinet transfer and is standing completely frozen waiting to see if those little eyes open šš I obviously have no idea who was actually awake in that house lol. But something about seeing that light made me feel better. Because 3am postpartum is SO weird. You spend your entire day surrounded by noise. People texting. Cars outside. Appointments. Family. Laundry. Bottles. Crying. TV in the background. Then suddenly itās the middle of the night andā¦ nothing. Everyone disappears. Your husband is asleep beside you. Your friends havenāt been online in hours. Your family is asleep. The group chat is dead. And youāre sitting in a rocking chair with a tiny baby on your chest feeling like somehow you got left behind while the rest of the world went to bed. š I donāt think I understood how lonely that could feel until I became a mom. And itās not even necessarily sad? Itās just this really strange isolation. Like nobody else could possibly understand what this exact moment feels like. Then I found this map that basically gives me that same feeling as seeing the light across the streetā¦except there are lights EVERYWHERE. Every little yellow light is another mom awake. And omg. š„¹š The first time I really looked at it in the middle of the night I just stared. There were moms awake all over the place. Somebody feeding. Somebody pumping. Somebody rocking. Somebody scrolling because she knows if she closes her eyes during the feed sheās DONE š Somebody changing a diaper in approximately 4% lighting. Somebody Googling ānewborn grunting normalā for the 37th time š Somebody eating cold leftovers over the sink because apparently 3am is dinner now. Somebody crying because tonight is just hard. Somebody laughing at something stupid on her phone trying not to wake the baby. Somebody whispering āplease please please pleaseā during a crib transfer š All these little houses with lights on. And suddenly my nursery didnāt feel like its own little island anymore. Thatās the thing Iāve realized about postpartum. Sometimes I donāt want advice. I donāt need another hack. I donāt want someone telling me itāll get easier or that someday Iāll miss this. I just want somebody to understand RIGHT NOW. Like yes. This is beautiful. And yes. I love my baby more than I knew I could love another human. And alsoā¦ I am exhausted. I havenāt slept more than a couple hours at a time. I smell vaguely like breast milk at all times š I donāt know what day it is. And sometimes I feel really freaking lonely. All of those things can be true at once. ā¤ļø Thatās why those little lights get me. Because every single one represents another woman somewhere having her own version of this night. And you can even send a little hug out. No huge conversation required. No explaining yourself. Just basically: āHey. Rough night over here.ā And another mom can send one back. Like the digital version of seeing her kitchen light across the street and thinkingā¦ oh thank god. someone else is awake too. š„¹ Idk why something that simple can make such a difference. But it does. There might be another light on. And even if every house around you is darkā¦ somewhere, another mom is awake too. Probably with messy hair. Probably holding a baby. Probably scrolling with one eye open. Probably wondering if sheās the only one. Sheās not. Neither are you. š„ŗš #mom #baby #MomsofTikTok #momtok #momlife
