reb for the rebrand
Region: US
Wednesday 09 September 2026 01:29:16 GMT
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Ashley 🧜♀️ :
I used to have a friend who found out I was scared of chimps and she teased me about it. She didn’t later get attacked by a chimp but her husband cheated on her and left.
2026-09-19 16:15:57
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Poptarts :
Chimps will torture. Orangutans will dissect. I'd rather be in a cage with a gorilla.😬
2026-09-09 04:48:06
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Ash | Dystopian Child Care :
I did conservation ed at a zoo and we had 3 tiers for emergency animal escape protocol. Guess what animal was a tier 1 emergency? Higher than a tiger. Higher than a rhinoceros. Chimps will fuck you up for funsies and play war drums with your femurs.
2026-09-09 04:01:40
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t.jayde :
the lady and her friend who were attacked by her pet chimp (she was abusive too) fcked me up and started my fear of chimps
2026-09-19 16:20:08
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Krisss :
Listen, all I’m asking is why are we stopping them from trying? Give it a shot, Big Dawg.
2026-09-09 14:57:44
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missboudreaux10 :
The fact that all the victims always have no hands and face is enough for me to say nah to that fight immediately
2026-09-10 13:11:47
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Raine :
This reminds me of the story of the woman who’s face was ripped off by her friend’s pet chimp. The owner actually stabbed it in the back during the attack in an attempt to make him stop and he just turned around and looked at her for a moment and went back to attacking. Terrifying creatures.
2026-09-09 04:13:35
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6002sw :
I took a hybrid anthropology and biology class on evolution in college. We spent a significant amount of time studying primates. Before that class I was scared of chimps. After that class? Terrified down to my bone marrow. I refuse to go to any primate habitats at zoos. Just thinking of chimps being kept as pets, possibly by a neighbor, and not knowing keeps me up at least one night a year.
2026-09-09 04:50:59
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Colleen :
These guys are so strong they won’t even take a step towards helping a woman being harassed by another man.
2026-09-09 05:47:32
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Meep :
Neighbor worked at Disney. Obviously I have no way of fact checking this but she told me that they use tranquilizers on every animal in the event of escape. Live rounds are only for one animal. Chimps.
2026-09-09 01:34:12
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doll_dress_swap :
All these stories make me wonder why we have any of these in zoos or other forms of captivity at all. Feels like they should straight up be on a only-live-in-the-wild-do-not-own-ever list 😅
2026-09-10 00:42:56
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Abi Hernandez :
It’s sooo odd because it seems like Chimps zone in on the hands and face first. Like they are smart enough to know “you can’t hit me as easily without hands” or “can’t see me without eyes” and it’s just so scary that they are SO smart
2026-09-10 18:28:42
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EatThisBrat :
the fact that the chimps could create such a mess with their bare hands and they don't have claws. that's how strong they are; to completely disconnect all of that soft tissue without using an edge to first break the connection.
2026-09-20 00:09:16
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Dr Stephanie | DVM :
My professor in Vet School was also the main vet at the local zoo. The only animal he was truly afraid of/had the most respect for was chimpanzees. He said they were feces flinging fight club members with the mind of a toddler
2026-09-09 02:11:35
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Jennifer Simpson :
My TT is crazy because this is the 3rd chimpanzee terror story in like 2 days and I don't even think about chimpanzees like that. I guess now i will
2026-09-09 09:05:45
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miscombobulated24 :
Like I feel like men don't understand that while chimps are like 3 feet tall and smaller than them... they have the same strength as a grown man, probably more. Plus have you seen their teeth? Those canines? How big they can open their mouths? Go for it dude, you aren't winning. Chimps aren't gonna box you, they are gonna bite your face off.
2026-09-19 15:04:36
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that guy's wife :
Have you looked up the Charla Nash chimpanzee attack? The 911 call is horrifying
2026-09-19 12:50:39
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had2thinkawhile :
I didn’t expect this :’( that poor guide
2026-09-20 01:33:24
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Kontejas :
Okay but did you ever stop to consider that Jason from Sigma Nu and Alex from Marketing are built different?
2026-09-09 13:46:16
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its Casey :
I don't know WHY we don't leave them ALONE. I guess Jane Goodall had cred with them but everyone else should just MIND OUR BUSINESS
2026-09-10 01:27:46
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waggleston :
Took a primatology course with Kevin Hunt (he worked alongside famous primatologists). He said the most terrifying animal in the world is a captive male chimpanzee. Because (1) they’ve been habituated to humans and (2) they are capable of understanding the injustice of captivity and (3) they feel the same range of emotions we do. Chimps are beautiful animals…but dear god, they should not be in zoos. There are several reasons field researchers don’t touch wild chimps. One of them is that a wild chimp assumes humans are stronger than them. But if humans touched them, they’d eventually realize THEY are the stronger ones. And chimps routinely engage in dominance displays of strength that would kill a human. EASILY. Think about that. A simple DOMINANCE DISPLAY would kill you. A genuinely hostile chimp? Not a chance. Not even a hope of a chance. Your best bet is to get to water because their bodies are too dense (because they are ALL muscle) to float. You can’t outrun, fight off, or out-climb a chimp. Literally just pray there’s deep water nearby.
2026-09-10 00:43:01
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Mea Dev :
In the 1950s, my dad was at a local carnival where you could pay to “box an Orangutan.” If you could go just 2 mins in the ring you won a nice cash prize. So local HS quarterback takes the challenge. Big boy. They put an old fashioned football helmet and boxing gloves on him and put him in the cage. Fool takes a jab at the Orangutan. With casual disinterest, ape smacks him once and the helmet spin around on this guys head! He was not right for 2 days! And Orangutans are FAR less aggressive than chimps.
2026-09-09 01:48:37
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The aggravating Art :
Like guys who think they can fight a kangaroo like they won’t get their chest caved in and flung into oblivion.
2026-09-09 05:28:14
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Tini ✨️🍒 :
this made me remember watching Oprah with my grandma back in like 2009 and seeing a lady who had survived a chimp attack and lost 9 fingers and most of her face. wild that people think they have a chance against a chimp 😭
2026-09-09 02:24:21
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