@mom.behind.the.scenes: Replying to @Shaye Marie A very general answer to the “parenting tips” question.

Annie Willems
Annie Willems
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Wednesday 09 September 2026 18:13:58 GMT
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_jks98_
Jillian :
“How is this going to serve her as an adult” is crazy. I’m 28 and my life looks very similar to what you described. As a grown adult I don’t hold the expectation that others around me are supposed to have a bad day with me. I have autonomy over my own self care. Nobody is in my apartment telling me that I *have* to shower or clean up right this minute. People don’t pick unnecessary fights with me or try to assert authority over me ever. My life is full of people who love me and treat me with kindness & respect. I don’t know what world people are living in where they think that you have to completely remove a child’s autonomy in order to prepare them for adult life. That’s usually not how the real world works.
2026-09-10 14:42:45
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nicole_mamabear
nicole_mamabear :
I love all of this and need to start using more of it. Also as an adult she will still be able to decide when she wants to shower, etc… you are teaching her in a supported environment how maki no your own choices impacts your life. Heart 💜
2026-09-13 14:41:49
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stick_a_fork_in_it
HeyAng :
One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was to choose the hill that you were willing to die on as a parent very carefully.
2026-09-09 20:13:09
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bechocking
Bec Hocking🇦🇺💛💚 :
Anyone says how’s this? Going to serve her as an adult as a Neurodivergent adult autistic ADHD? I would say that what you’re doing. To serve her better than not giving her those choices because I’m an adult and I now struggle with making choices.
2026-09-12 18:34:02
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_oh_its_steph
S :
I work with students who have alot of behaviors. All of your tips and tricks are appreciated as a support person for these kids. thank you
2026-09-09 21:24:53
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midnightraptor911
midnightraptor911 :
you're such a good mom
2026-09-12 04:55:34
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wildchildren3
EmKayy :
I've been more of a watcher/follower but I admire how much emotional intelligence that you have. It's not something you see very often
2026-09-10 03:39:21
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brittneyhm2
🦋 :
i wish i had this as a kid/teenager. now i’m 25 and teaching myself how to regulate myself and my emotions. i’m proud of myself for seeking help and doing the work to better myself, but i think so much could have been different for me if i had a parent, especially one like you. 💕
2026-09-12 21:45:09
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samanthamarie8261
samanthamarie8261 :
adults get to decide what time they do things all the time so I don't understand why some people find it so unacceptable that we let a child decide that. You are doing what works best for her and that's everything!!
2026-09-09 21:31:25
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smallsunshine123
smallsunshine123 :
Oh it is going to serve her well. Bc of the chooses you’ve afforded her. We face the same choices of necessary tasks as adults every day. Teaching children how to make choices while maintaining expectations is another adulting thing.
2026-09-09 20:32:16
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knitzinfitz
KnitzInFitz :
yes! I want to tell you that as a parent of a cptsd pda child (whose symptoms sound very similar) they are now almost 21 and while they are still home they are gradual doing so much better. It does get a bit easier mom. They may be home longer but they are progressing towards independence and are very thankful that I chose them first over how everyone else wanted me to parent and they are alive!! 🤗💕
2026-09-12 15:37:37
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catherinecaulfield1
Catherine Caulfield :
This is the best advice ❤️
2026-09-09 22:47:14
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srscarm
Sarah Carmichael :
I dealt with it too and have my struggles as an adult, but soooo much better. Some trauma, some genetic, some from FASDs and other sub exposure in the womb. My parents didn’t give me much space and were controlling, and oh what a difference it would’ve made had there been space, not feeling controlled, and communication, rather than just reacting to me and domineering. So happy for her that she has you guys to adapt to her needs but at the same time, have a parental relationship and expectations through struggles. Wishing her and you guys well and happy for her to have the parents she has. ❤️
2026-09-09 19:30:29
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diversity12345
Jodie >>>> :
I love that because even as an adult we get choices like that
2026-09-12 14:21:45
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jasm3596
Lesli Stapleton :
seems reasonable to me
2026-09-09 18:38:22
1
oliverstein881
oliverstein881 :
do you think that getting the protective order against your son made the moods swing easier. I would imagine prior to that it must have been difficult
2026-09-10 13:40:41
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smallsunshine123
smallsunshine123 :
And also the crucial thing that you’re teaching her is exactly that she isn’t responsible for your emotions and and you’re responsible for her. OK I’m 44 years old and still make myself in charge of other people’s emotions. It’s not good.
2026-09-11 00:41:23
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janeocdi
Ocdi Homeschool :
A couple of my kids seem like they are similar to your daughter. All mine are neurodivergent and I suspect those 2 have a pda profile but it hasn't been confirmed. Homeschooling really is life saving for these kids and I have seen such an improvement allowing them to have a break from the social pressures of. school.
2026-09-10 08:18:53
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bethmoulton135
IsadoreSkye Creations :
How would it NOT serve her as an adult? She's learning now, with very loving guidance and in a safe space, how to order her life and self regulate in order to be living the way that she is comfortable, enjoying activities as she wants, etc. Seems like a much better way than suddenly being 18 and sent off to college on your own and no knowledge of how to be a functional adult.
2026-09-10 17:18:09
0
kimlgerbs
Kimlgerbs :
❤️
2026-09-10 02:12:39
0
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