@beyondthebruise: Funny how “right and wrong” changes depending on who’s doing it…. #doublestandards #narcissist #narctok

connected :

So basically- they actually have no values....they just pretend to have values.

Maylynn :

Always moving the goal post

Dominion of Darkness :

That means that you can never trust them, the change the rules mid game

Amy Castles :

The double standards are wild 😳

The country girl with scarf :

Yep, it's crazy 🤪 I couldn't start my own business but he could start his. He just wanted to see me suffer. I feel like a fog was lifted up from my eyes. And now I can see him clearly. I'm still in the relationship but I've started to detach and planning my exit.

caycalamity :

They are so highly compartmentalized that their diff compartments have diff values, memories, beliefs, quirks, traits, goals, etc. They have impaired ability to integrate themselves, so when they are mentally “in” one compartment, they have one type of values/memories/goals/etc. but when they switch compartments, everything shifts slightly or sometimes very dramatically. It’s the nature of personality disorders in general really.

Decrepit Bee Lady :

It was so incredibly obvious when she moved out that I never looked at her the same, because she made so many decisions about what was “hers” that were so inconsistent. You brought an item into the relationship, it broke, I paid to replace it? Yours. I brought an item in, it broke, and you paid to replace it? Also yours! I’m over here being scrupulously, painfully fair in accordance with my value system and you’re just over there picking whatever works best for you at the time.

River :

They move their goal posts as easy as most people change their socks.

John🧿 :

It’s why they need so many individual sources of validation that never intersect. That way each one has only their curated history. Everything they tell anyone about themselves is done so to reinforce their image. If one person sees inconsistency too often (people with high pattern recognition will pick up on a lot), and they can’t do the damage control with that person, they discard. That mask is more important than anything else.

bigbear1974 :

This is 100% true at least in my experience

Tam :

yep they don't have a core sense of self

theDenterprises :

iioooo_ooooo1 :

Oh yes, and they will call hypocrite instead

ｓｉｒｅｎａ 🧜‍♀️ :

he told me once "we don't have the same moral code" and I said you're damn right we don't. And thank GOD that's the case.

Midwife Shannon 🩷 :

The value issue that he brought up constantly is that I had told him that some point in my past life I had slept with somebody on the first date. And then he got upset with me after I didn’t sleep with him on the first date and waited till the third. And then told me these were values he did not want to teach his daughter. Like tell me how the fuck that makes sense.

Gypsy :

There are plenty of men who aren't narcissists that hold such double standards, also. 😒

aal🍓 :

Not consistency 😭

jnils77 :

My Mom is a narcissist. The best thing I find that works is to NEVER give a reaction and as you say…. emotionally detachment is the only answer.

𝐴 :

you cannot have guy friends, but they can have "friends" though i found out they arent "friemds" at all. and i realize thats why he is uncomfy of me having male friends 💯

Vichara Hean :

Soo true!!!!

thunderfan74 :

So true. My ex would say financial responsibility was one of his main values. His new wife writes hot checks, doesn’t pay taxes, and has many financial judgments against her. I asked him how he’s able to reconcile that with his “values” and he said, “I just do. It’s none of your business, I just do.” 🤦‍♀️😂🤡

Shayaaaa :

100%

The Quantum Geek :

When she suddenly started yelling at me "Why aren't you more outraged about (insert issue)" when right before that, she hadn't ever shown any interest or even acknowledgement of the existence of (insert issue), and would just pick flights with me over whatever it was that week, I knew something was off. Especially when then a few weeks later she would be back to not even caring or acknowledging whatever issue it was, and now was yelling at me for loading the dishwasher wrong.

Nick :

Sooo true.

ToyCarGuy :

Rules for thee but not for me! That’s their value system. Do as I say not as I do