@coach.ryan0: They don’t want a partner. They want access without accountability…someone who provides all the benefits of a relationship while requiring absolutely nothing in return. The moment you ask for consistency, communication, or reciprocity, suddenly you’re “too much.” #DismissiveAvoidant #AvoidantAttachment #AttachmentStyles #ToxicRelationships #RelationshipTok
Well said. I was expected to be a mute, sex object with zero needs-An empty vessel. Eventually, that’s what I turned into…Over the course of this abusive marriage, I developed a bleeding ulcer & suicidal ideation.
2026-09-11 23:56:25
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Keisha Bae Wills :
like htf is that possible thats crazy as hell you should just be alone
2026-09-11 23:57:30
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LeeAnn :
💯💯💯💯 Literally right on point when I asked if he felt anything for me it’s always well I enjoy talking to you, or it’s not viable at moment, I’m so busy I don’t have time for women 🤣 get into blocks me comes back same pattern thinking it will be diff
2026-09-11 23:00:09
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xxmaureen :
The only thing I asked of him was emotionally and physical time together
2026-09-11 22:44:57
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NOLALOVE4U :
Treated like any other tool in the house. When he needed me to look legit, go dance, someone to hang out with, he expected me to be there. When he was done he just put me away like any other tool and moved on to his next project. So so so so happy to be free of it!!!
2026-09-11 19:30:05
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Julie :
Absolutely TRUE!!!
2026-09-11 22:39:02
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Demi :
Power
2026-09-11 21:48:22
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HEARTHY :
Oooo yeaaa
2026-09-11 22:40:27
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Erin Church :
I know this man too well… but funny enough he desperately wants a relationship, just not the depth or questions … lol
2026-09-11 19:09:30
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TataTori :
My seem to be ex-husband just wanted a fun girlfriend. He would go out and party with him even though we were in our mid 40s we didn’t have deep conversations. We didn’t have emotionally connecting conversations. We spoke about our animals and work and what we were going to be cooking and where we were going to be drinking and that was it. I was not allowed to question him about bills or his infidelity or anything. He told me it wasn’t my job to hold him accountable. It was my job to be his wife and being his wife meant shutting up and just being fun. He basically wanted a 16-22 year-old girlfriend. It was so incredibly boring and lonely and frustrating because I really wanted a deep meaningful partnership and I wanted us to just have everything in the world together.
2026-09-11 19:50:26
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Patches1206 :
Thank you for this! My Husband has realized he is this since you posted them. I always say this to him BUT couldn't find what it was for years! Thank you for all your info!
2026-09-11 19:43:06
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Theresa Jones Tutti :
We're ghosts until they need to look legit...it sucks🖤
2026-09-11 16:21:59
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GrandmaGigi63 :
I feel right into this with my husband and I didn’t realize it was happening. I’ve turned into the man and woman over time because burdening him with anything became explosive rage. So I stop asking, I have no needs. Married, yet alone living single.
2026-09-11 21:30:35
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True_Love_40 :
This is so scarily accurate 🎯
2026-09-11 16:37:12
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Jacqueline Shanea :
But we can not make it too obvious we are focusing on their comfort and emotional needs at all times bc then they feel guilty that you’re treating them amazing and that is a negative feeling so they still get triggered and irritated. You then will need to apologize to THEM… for what?…usually tone or timing… or asking them “what would you like to do today?”. They like you to still do stuff so they can decide if they want to join or mute you for the day with no expectations from them and meritless praise from you.
2026-09-11 21:34:02
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resa264 :
what if they do know they were neglected? all this behavior is still the same and 100% the person knows they did not have a normal childhood.
2026-09-11 19:54:43
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Roxy’s Traveling Adventures 😍 :
Yup
2026-09-11 23:46:00
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nope🦭 :
so then why do avoidants say we are being mean / controlling etc when we ask for consideration, or for our own needs to be met?
2026-09-11 19:23:46
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True_Love_40 :
Every time he brought up any of his other relationships he always said the same thing about every one “it wasn’t that deep” even after him and an ex were supposed to be getting married he said the relationship “wasn’t that deep” 😳 after being with him for two years now I understand what he meant. Nothing or no relationship is ever that deep to him. He rather have surface level, meaningless, situationships. He always said he doesn’t require much. Then I realized that that was because he didn’t have much to offer in return 🤦🏾♀️I overlooked so many red flags 🚩 I should’ve ran at the first sign of trouble 😩
2026-09-11 16:34:23
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Clair :
I feel like my partner displays all these traits, as a child he had everything done for him by his mum, he supported her emotionally too ( as far as I observe) but his dad , while he loves him, he's less emotional and quite traditional (let's say) so probably didnt have much affection from him. now my dismissive avoidant partner is flaky, when I'm out of sight I'm out of mind, he wants affirmations, affection, physical intimacy but hates ot when I hold a boundary or want to discuss issues as he sees it as criticism and like I'm attacking him. while telling me to be more chilled and let things go (aka put up and shut up) its exhausting
2026-09-11 23:08:21
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Magic in Memories ✨ :
But do they know that’s what they want in a partner?
2026-09-11 20:54:03
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Hello :
Do you offer counselling for dismissive, avoidance, or just for the partners?
2026-09-11 16:08:06
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Kinga82 :
spot on
2026-09-11 17:06:27
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Karen :
Well said 💯
2026-09-11 16:48:43
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Yolo2Solo❌ :
Accurate
2026-09-11 19:25:03
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