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@njmusicproductions: أنا متابع مسارها..دي اللي تتاقل بماس❤️😍

NJMusicProduction
NJMusicProduction
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Sunday 13 September 2026 15:04:46 GMT
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2026-09-13 15:08:38
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When I was fifteen I used to make my little sister play wedding with me in the backyard, with a pillowcase for a veil and a handful of dandelions for a bouquet, and I’d make her walk ahead of me throwing grass like flower petals. I was that girl my whole life. The one with a secret board of dresses. The one who cried at every proposal video. The one who believed, without question, that love was the best thing that could ever happen to a person. And I don’t really know when it changed. It wasn’t one heartbreak. It was a slow pile of them. The guy who promised forever and meant three months. The one who made me feel like I was too much for wanting basic consistency. The one I bent my whole life around who didn’t notice when I stopped bending. Every time I got back up, I brought a little less of that backyard girl with me. And then one day I was scrolling and an engagement post came up from someone I used to know, and I felt nothing. No jealousy. No hope. Just this flat, tired emptiness, like a radio that stopped picking up the station. That’s when I realized I’d lost it. The daydreaming. The wanting. The part of me that thought this was all worth it. And right now I don’t miss it. Right now I’m kind of relieved to not want something that keeps hurting me. If you’re in that place too, I’m not going to tell you to just put yourself back out there, or that the right one is right around the corner. You’re allowed to be done for a while. You’re allowed to protect yourself. But I’ll say this gently, because I’m saying it to myself too. Feeling like a fool for loving someone doesn’t make you a fool. It means you loved fully, with no guard up, and the person on the other side didn’t handle it with care. That’s on them, not on your heart. You don’t need to want a wedding dress again. But maybe someday the numbness thaws enough to let you want good things again, whatever those look like. For now, it’s okay to say it. I am no longer interested in being someone’s girlfriend. I’ve lost all those feelings. I hate love. Love made me a fool, and I’m still learning that the fool was never me.
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