hope_peddler
Region: US
Sunday 13 September 2026 23:19:07 GMT
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Steve :
Being nice is to manipulate, keep the peace or simply being polite. Kindness is being auhentic, direct, and honest while being thoughful and empathetic. Sometimes kindness is not nice.
2026-09-14 01:28:15
105
Laura :
being nice because of a hidden agenda isn't nice nor kind - it's manipulation
2026-09-16 18:23:12
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Tanya | Love Lawyer 🇨🇦 🇦🇺 :
They don’t believe it because they were nice once and got rejected… they don’t understand that women wanting x,y,z doesn’t mean that doing x,y,z automatically means a woman will want to be with them.
2026-09-14 06:10:13
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Jon Bolt :
100% agreed. I’ll add a layer to the psychology of this: many men think only in terms of outcome without understanding the value of process. Performative men are thinking about what their actions will get them; kind men are present in the relationship (whatever form that relationship may take). Men aren’t socialized to think this way—we are taught that working toward and achieving a goal is actually the only value we have as humans. “Niceness” is all about outcome; kindness lives in the process.
2026-09-14 02:25:53
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Kristen :
I’m amazed that many men still don’t seem to know what you’re talking about. It’s like they need to be trained on what transactional reciprocity is and what kindness is.
2026-09-15 23:31:56
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user4263291675927 :
If their is no reciprocation they why should he even try at all ? 🤣
2026-09-14 17:22:24
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Don Powell :
you are describing what every shy man in the world does. we can't handle rejection so we do nice things to work up to asking you out. the problem most of those men have is they wait too long and are viewed as friends and then a romantic option is off of the table.
2026-09-14 02:47:23
1
Green Granny 428 :
They want us to be SIM characters that they obtain after they reach a certain level of their game
2026-09-14 16:16:41
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Lori K Today :
I hear this a lot from men friends. They tell me after an interaction with a woman that she’s flirting with him when clearly she’s just being a kind human.
2026-09-14 13:38:54
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Justy :
Absolutely. I had a male friend who asked what I looked for in a potential partner. I said empathy. He told me directly, “no, you mean niceness.” Their comprehension and thinking skills are left wanting
2026-09-14 11:38:31
17
Colette :
I always say this is why women don’t smile/interact/be nice to men they are not interested in anymore, because men presume all niceness means a woman is interested. Because they would never be nice to a woman they are not interested in or want something from. So they don’t understand how a woman laughing, joking, interacting with them in a friendly manner could be anything other than sexual interest! So we’ve had to stop doing it! And now we get ‘smile! Respond to me! Be nice’ when we know exactly how that is gonna go, so nope!
2026-09-21 13:29:17
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seriously_cc :
behavior is a language
2026-09-24 03:39:04
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Momma Mia 🇨🇦 :
Because they lack genuine kindness.
2026-09-14 13:31:57
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Elusifer :
They think being authentically kind equals being a door mat . They think respecting a woman is being weak .
2026-09-14 16:08:27
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Terence Arthur Brannigan :
To be nice is to be performative. It takes inner work to be kind, it requires the ability to see things from someone else's perspective and understand what is needed in the moment. Until men do the work, they will only be nice, thinking they are kind, but doing damage all along.
2026-09-15 19:56:22
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lalaxray :
They need to be kind to people other than me. That includes their family, friends, coworkers and animals.
2026-09-14 19:42:52
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Naag Nool! :
they call it "I am not being appreciated" for the performance.
2026-09-14 12:13:25
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Lisarogerson :
Like when he’s rude to the waitress…he’s a NO 🤷🏼♀️
2026-09-14 02:03:47
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jaholmst :
when a man actually helps a complete stranger and wants nothing and doesn't tell anyone, I will believe he is actually kind
2026-09-19 20:59:48
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Katie :
The difference is the reason behind it. If he’s nice because he thinks it’ll get him laid then it’s transactional & not coming from a good place. If he’s making her coffee because he genuinely wants to make her happy without any expectation that’s coming from a genuine good place.
2026-09-20 02:59:47
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adangeroustok :
it reveals just how performative men are. character is not an act. it is who you are.
2026-09-15 18:49:27
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monicaofrivendell :
Yup. If you are kind you are kind to everyone and with no ulterior motive or agenda behind it. You expect nothing in return from people.
2026-09-14 14:57:55
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Laurie Shipp :
They don’t have the emotional intelligence to know the difference.
2026-09-14 17:19:38
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jumpjumpjohnny :
That’s what men want too. It’s not cook and housekeeper and provider and bed partner, it’s just a pleasant person to talk to be around.
2026-09-14 04:10:31
0
Ena :
Kindness may be at the top. But that doesn't mean it's the ONLY thing we're looking for.
2026-09-19 23:37:33
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