The Onion
Region: US
Monday 14 September 2026 17:00:00 GMT
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Cassandra LeBeau :
Let's be creative. it doesn't have to be our own grave.
2026-09-15 13:43:30
1564
Penfold :
how long, before this isn't satire?
2026-09-14 17:29:36
4198
juniper&retro :
Oh my god I’ve been doomscrolling so long it took me half way through to realize this was the onion lmao
2026-09-15 02:59:51
405
christine :
Project 2025
2026-09-14 22:36:25
653
Lady_Hrothgar :
what if we're digging a grave for someone else?
2026-09-15 01:11:49
675
cosmic queef :
I’m laughing and mad all at the same time
2026-09-14 20:45:42
287
magdalenabedernik :
I was gonna ask where I'm supposed to find the land to do it.
2026-09-15 06:44:51
163
dculver3 :
But I’m getting cremated 😂
2026-09-14 19:39:32
149
HowToInternetWithViv :
This is so wrong! 8 feet in length is way too long. A 3 by 6 foot is usually large enough.
2026-09-14 19:48:30
888
Feral Notions :
Sending this to my mom who broke her arm
2026-09-15 00:21:19
1149
Snakesanonymous :
can we talk about how awesome it is that the onion hasn't fallen to AI
2026-09-15 05:50:42
184
In thy orisons :
The issue with this is it only improves bone health, what about coordination and fine motor control? They need to carve and adorn their own coffins.
2026-09-15 01:25:15
39
fuckoff :
this is is Something that trump would support
2026-09-14 18:19:14
1
sjm_0011 :
My wife has been digging a grave for me for the past 30 years. Her bones are like Wolverine now.
2026-09-16 01:20:19
4
Cynthia RiverRock :
HRT, Collagen hydrolyzed peptides, Vitamin D3, K2, Magnesium, caicun from greek yogurt, real Bone broth, weight strength training with restorative sleep keep cortisol low.. better results for menopausal bone density outcomes
2026-09-16 02:19:55
0
user4474882300345 :
Okay you got me! Lol!
2026-09-16 01:39:28
0
Solidarity Stitches :
hey, this is also the recommendation from integrated healthcare + insurance companies since they cannot get us in for primary care visits or physical therapy.
2026-09-16 02:02:14
0
81Erin :
😂😂😂😂 you guys are the worst 😂😂😂😂
2026-09-16 00:31:02
1
TorchtheWitch🇨🇦 :
Jesus, don’t give them any ideas
2026-09-15 07:54:05
14
Sensei :
The Onion always catches me off guard
2026-09-15 20:46:35
11
The Above Average Joe :
My mom owns her own home. I should send this to her.
2026-09-14 17:53:10
92
Ivana :
Why I needed to see who posted it to realise it's satire 😭😭😭😭😭😭
2026-09-15 09:12:59
19
lizard_br3ath :
But I’m tired of this grandpa
2026-09-15 01:52:10
63
MattTingTong 🇪🇺🇬🇧 :
Early cremation does not provide the same health benefits
2026-09-15 12:07:29
21
VetTechDanii🥓 :
The ending was perfect
2026-09-15 14:36:40
10
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