@jessnesham: I wasn’t sure I was going to post this because I don’t want complicated emotions to be misconstrued but I feel like this is an important topic for loss moms and those who love them 🩷 This weekend I went to the first baby shower I’ve attended since we lost Joshua. And I want to say this very clearly, because grief can make things sound more black and white than they actually are: I wanted to be there. I love this mama. I am so excited for her. I was happy to celebrate her, happy to see everyone, happy to watch people love on this new little baby who is already so cherished and adored 🩷🩷 And it was also so f***ing hard. I cried while I got ready. I cried in the car. Then I walked inside and laughed and talked and ate and celebrated and had a genuinely good time. And when I left, I cried again. Not because anyone had done anything wrong. Not because someone else’s joy hurt me. Just because sometimes beautiful things brush up against the places where you still hurt. A baby shower can make you deeply happy for someone you love and deeply aware of the baby you miss at the exact same time. Both can be true. That’s something grief has taught me over and over: Joy does not betray the person you lost. Grief does not diminish the people you love. Sometimes you laugh at the party and cry in the parking lot. Sometimes that is just what healing looks like for a loss mom 🕊️ #lossmom #stillbirth #grief #babyshower #joyinthejourney

alisonp741 :

I lost my first and the worst part was the shower gifts I received. All of the wonderful things from my registry, I knew my friends and family wouldn’t want them back but now sitting in the empty room they were the most painful reminders of the hope that was in the recent past. I’m glad you were able to enjoy your time. But if the next one comes and you don’t want to go, don’t. It’s ok.

Haley Cadman :

I see you 💔 my son’s 5th birthday is on the 28th of this month. I’d love to tell you it gets easier. I think it just gets easier to hide.

Danielle Hanson :

Both emotions can exist at once my sister in law had her baby shower right after I lost my baby and I was so happy but so sad at the same time you can be happy and sad all at once

chasityholzapfel :

I see you. I lost my son last year and haven't been to once since even though I've had so many friends be pregnant and have babies.

🥀🖤♱𝕾𝖆𝖇𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖆♱🖤🥀 :

I feel this. A month after losing my son I had two baby showers, and it was the holiday season. So Thanksgiving and Christmas. I showed up, cried and laughed. I cried in the bathroom while seeing my pregnant friend because I was scared I’d bring them death. They all understood if I didn’t show. I still grieve for my son, as we will for all of time. There’s always dawn after the darkness. 🫂

Cassady Kronz :

I lost my baby girl at 23 weeks in June and now welcoming 3 nieces all around her due date. The emotions are overwhelming but you can be happy for others and sad for you🩷

Kristen :

BWiebe :

We announced our pregnancy and found I lost it to a molar pregnancy on Christmas Eve at 1 am. We didn’t want to ruin our Christmas with my in-laws so we drove to their house around lunch. Found out my SIL was pregnant with the exact same due date we no longer had. It was the most heartbreaking moment covered in joy for them. I cried most of the 3 hour drive home, but not in the moment. We’ve lost 5 more since then and 3 times found out another SIL was pregnant. It honestly doesn’t get easier.

blahblahblah73 :

Reminds me of the movie Inside Out, Joy touched by sadness is still Joy just in a different way.

💚𝙳𝙸𝙴𝚂𝙴𝙻𝓑𝓪𝓫𝔂🏳️‍🌈 :

how beautiful are you to enjoy somebody else's sunshine while you're in the rain. I hope they know how blessed they are to have a good friend. and that you have good friends not excluding you.

thechaoscoordinator16 :

I’m so sorry for your loss. My sister in laws baby shower was the first one I went to after and our babies would have been about 3-4 weeks apart. Now my niece is here and perfect and I’m pregnant with my rainbow baby. There’s light, I promise. It feels really dark for a little while.

blueeyedgal76 :

Hugs and more hugs

Alyse :

Your baby was so lucky to have you.

sassparilla888 :

I thought I was the only one

Natalie🌸Ramirez :

I am in tears, you are so strong! I had told my co works that I was pregnant. Shortly after I had a miscarriage😔 one of my co workers that was pregnant just came back to work and she looked and me and said “you look horrible, I hard your pregnant too” I had to hold myself together while actively going through a miscarriage and tell her I lost the baby. That was the hardest thing I had to say. My husband and I didn’t tell our family’s so I went through it alone.

poordecisionsenthusiast :

I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you. Grief is all about doing hard things. Be proud of yourself. You showed up for someone you loved even when it wasn’t easy for you. 💕💕💕

🖤✨Bri✨🖤 :

You're so strong and such a good friend to celebrate another mom in your grief. Sending you hugs

mfinn097 :

I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤️

explain.the.joke :

Our love for others allows us to carry grief in an unimaginable way. You did great

goose :

I’m so sorry 💗💗 sending you so much love

Donna Smith💙🇺🇸🆘💙 :

You are so strong!

skkarfacee :

You are so strong

Katelyn Lum :

Two heavy emotions can exist momma. I see you. 💕

Jennifer Ivey :

Praying for you

user98768023 :

You're amazing!!