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In 1960, C. S. Lewis was watching his wife die. They had met on paper. Joy Davidman was an American poet, a former Communist, a divorcee with two sons, who wrote to him about theology at the start of the fifties and argued with him by post for years before she ever crossed the Atlantic. He was fifty-eight and had never married. They wed in a registry office in 1956 so she could stay in England. That year she was diagnosed with bone cancer. The following March a priest married them again at her hospital bed, where she was expected to die within weeks. She didn't. The cancer went into remission and they were given three years. They went to Ireland. They went to Greece. The cancer came back in October 1959. Lewis had been writing about love his whole life without ever having had this kind of it. He divided it into four. Affection, the love of what is familiar. Friendship, which he called the least jealous of the loves. Eros, being in love. And charity, the love that gives and asks nothing. His argument was that the first three are genuinely good, and that each one turns into a demon the moment you make it a god. And he held one more thing, long before Joy and long before any of it was tested. Love is not safe. It was never meant to be. Anything you actually love will cost you, and the only way to escape the cost is to stop loving, which is the worse fate. He recorded the talks in August 1958, in the middle of the reprieve. The Four Loves was published in Britain that spring. Joy died on 13 July 1960. The American edition came out on 27 July, fourteen days later. Joy held the copyright. Her name is on the book. The next year he published A Grief Observed, a record of what her death did to him. He put it out under a false name. He had been right. That was the problem. Send it to someone who needs it. #cslewis #narnia #Love #griefjourney #BookTok
In 1960, C. S. Lewis was watching his wife die. They had met on paper. Joy Davidman was an American poet, a former Communist, a divorcee with two sons, who wrote to him about theology at the start of the fifties and argued with him by post for years before she ever crossed the Atlantic. He was fifty-eight and had never married. They wed in a registry office in 1956 so she could stay in England. That year she was diagnosed with bone cancer. The following March a priest married them again at her hospital bed, where she was expected to die within weeks. She didn't. The cancer went into remission and they were given three years. They went to Ireland. They went to Greece. The cancer came back in October 1959. Lewis had been writing about love his whole life without ever having had this kind of it. He divided it into four. Affection, the love of what is familiar. Friendship, which he called the least jealous of the loves. Eros, being in love. And charity, the love that gives and asks nothing. His argument was that the first three are genuinely good, and that each one turns into a demon the moment you make it a god. And he held one more thing, long before Joy and long before any of it was tested. Love is not safe. It was never meant to be. Anything you actually love will cost you, and the only way to escape the cost is to stop loving, which is the worse fate. He recorded the talks in August 1958, in the middle of the reprieve. The Four Loves was published in Britain that spring. Joy died on 13 July 1960. The American edition came out on 27 July, fourteen days later. Joy held the copyright. Her name is on the book. The next year he published A Grief Observed, a record of what her death did to him. He put it out under a false name. He had been right. That was the problem. Send it to someone who needs it. #cslewis #narnia #Love #griefjourney #BookTok

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