@ashley.elle.co: There’s a weird kind of loneliness that can happen when you stop people pleasing. Because once you stop being the version of yourself who is always agreeable, always available, always understanding, always making excuses for everyone else… some relationships don’t know what to do with you anymore. And sometimes, neither do you. You might look around and think, *Wait. Where did everybody go?* But I hope you give yourself some credit before you decide you’ve done something wrong. It takes courage to stop performing for connection. It takes courage to disappoint people instead of continuously disappointing yourself. It takes courage to finally ask, “Do I actually feel safe, seen, and valued here?” instead of only asking, “Do they like me?” And yes, the space that creates can feel lonely for a while. But that space is also where you get to meet yourself again. Start small. Keep the promises you make to yourself. Say no without writing a five-paragraph explanation. Notice who makes your nervous system feel settled instead of activated. Let new friendships build slowly instead of trying to earn closeness immediately. Go places because *you* enjoy them — classes, groups, hobbies, volunteering, whatever actually sounds like you — and let familiarity turn into friendship over time. And when someone new comes into your life, you don’t have to decide immediately whether you can trust them. Watch. Do their words match their actions? Can they handle a boundary? Can you disagree without the relationship becoming unsafe? Do you feel like yourself around them? You’re allowed to let people earn access to you slowly. But maybe the biggest thing you’re rebuilding right now isn’t your ability to trust other people. It’s your ability to trust **yourself**. To know that if something feels wrong, you’ll listen. If someone crosses a line, you’ll respond. If a relationship requires you to disappear in order to keep it, you’ll choose yourself. You may have fewer people around you for a season. But you’re not building a life around being liked anymore. You’re building one where you actually get to be there. 🤍 #peoplepleaser #boundaries #womenover30 #friendship #makingfriends

Ashley | Fitness for Women 30+

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Tuesday 15 September 2026 11:56:37 GMT