@amythelifecoach: Supporting people is good! I don’t want relationships where everybody’s like, “well, your growth is your responsibility. Good luck with that.” I want to collaborate with the people I love. I wanna know what would help you. I want to tell you what would help me. I am happy to give you space, remind you of something we’ve already agreed on sometimes, reflect back areas of weakness and encourage you when I see you doing something differently. The problem is when my support becomes the infrastructure holding your entire growth process together. And I talk to a lot of clients in this role. Because now if you stop reminding them…nothing happens. If you stop initiating… Nothing happens. If you stop identifying the problem, coming up with the strategy, bringing the relationship back to it and tracking whether anything is changing… Nothing happens. However - that becomes useful information. Because needing / wanting support doesn’t mean someone isn’t taking responsibility for themselves. The distinction you want to be looking for is whether there is self-generated effort underneath the support. Are they proactive? Self-reflective? Curious about their own inner world? Clear on their values? If you stepped back a little, would there still be evidence that they were noticing, initiating, practicing, following through and trying again? Because then you can be very willing to support their effort in a healthy way. You just don’t wanna accidentally become the reason the effort exists. #healingtiktok #nervoussystemhealing #relationshiptiktok #conflictresolution #healthyrelationships

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