@thenarcissistcoach: 1. He gives her the attention she wasn't getting. It doesn't have to be that he's more handsome or stronger than her partner. Sometimes all he does is listen to her, compliment her, and make her feel desired. And that's when the comparison begins. 2. He knows exactly what's missing for her. Her partner might give her everything... But he's neglecting a certain side. The second man enters precisely from this point. He gives her the feeling she was lacking, so she starts seeing him differently. 3. What he's trying to do is compete with her partner. And this is a point that a lot of people don't pay attention to. He doesn't go to her and say: "I'm better than him." On the contrary... He makes her the one who starts comparing him to him on her own. 4. It gives her a feeling that she's desired. Some betrayals don't start with strong feelings. They start with a message. Then a joke. Then excessive attention. Then an inner feeling that says: "He's more interested in me than my partner is." And that's when the boundaries start to disappear, one after the other. But the problem isn't in him alone. Betrayal often reveals a problem that was already there before the third person. Neglect, weak boundaries, seeking attention, or dissatisfaction with the relationship. The third person sometimes doesn't create the problem… He just exploits the open door. And that's why don't just ask: "Who is the man I cheated on me with?" Ask: "What made her let him into her life in the first place?" Because knowing the answer is more important than knowing his name. And in the end… If the relationship reaches the stage of betrayal, don’t enter a race to prove you’re better than the other person. Your worth isn’t determined by comparing yourself to them. What deserves thought is: Does the relationship have mutual respect? Are the boundaries clear? And does the other party truly deserve a second chance? Because some betrayals aren’t your loss of the person… They’re your belated discovery of their true reality.

Narcissist Coach | Healing

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Tuesday 15 September 2026 18:41:29 GMT