@beaconpostpartum: 3:02am. Baby was awake again. I was sitting in the nursery with her, staring at the monitor, listening to the house be completely silent. And my brain was doing that fun postpartum thing where it suddenly decides THIS is the perfect time to worry about everything 😭 Is she eating enough? Did she feel warm earlier? Why did she make that weird noise? Should I Google it? No. Absolutely do not Google it. Googles it. 😂 Then somehow I’m thinking about whether we’re saving enough for college and she’s literally four months old. This is what nobody prepared me for. I expected the sleep deprivation. I expected the diapers and spit-up and feeding every few hours. I did NOT expect how loud my brain would get when the rest of the world got quiet. That night it felt especially bad. I remember looking around thinking everyone else is asleep. Everyone else can shut their brain off. Why can’t I? So I picked up my phone to distract myself and opened this app another mom had mentioned. There’s a map that shows other moms who are awake at the same time. I genuinely thought it would show like… 12 people 😂 Instead I saw 831 moms awake with me. EIGHT HUNDRED AND THIRTY ONE. My literal face: 😳 I started moving around the map. Yellow dots everywhere. Every single one was another mom awake in the middle of the night. Feeding. Pumping. Rocking. Trying for the 6th crib transfer. Sitting in bed because the baby went back to sleep but now SHE can’t. Probably Googling weird baby noises too 😂 And I swear my anxiety dropped almost immediately. Not because anything was fixed. My baby was still awake. I was still tired. I still had the same brain. But that horrible feeling of being the only person awake disappeared. Then my phone showed that three moms had sent me hugs. One was from California. One from England. These women don’t know me. They don’t know my baby. They had no idea I was sitting there at 3am spiraling over absolutely nothing and everything at the same time. They just saw another light on the map and sent a little hug. 🥺💛 That got me. Because sometimes I don’t want advice. I don’t need someone telling me to sleep when the baby sleeps. I don’t need a 14-step bedtime routine. I don’t need another person asking if I’ve “tried putting her down awake.” YES KAREN THANK YOU 😭 Sometimes I just need to know another mom is awake too. Motherhood is strange because you’re almost never physically alone. Someone is constantly touching you, needing you, crying for you, eating off you 😂 Yet 3am can somehow feel like the loneliest place in the world. Now when I’m up in the middle of the night, I picture that map. Hundreds of little lights. Hundreds of moms quietly doing the exact same shift. Different houses. Different babies. Different countries. Same exhausted eyes checking the clock. And I don’t know why, but knowing they’re there makes everything feel a little less heavy. 831 moms were awake with me that night. I thought I was the only one. 🥺💛 #mom #baby #MomsofTikTok #momtok #momlife

beaconpostpartum

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Thursday 17 September 2026 15:51:34 GMT