@profahmedhankir: One of the Cruelest Things About Trauma How could something that devastated me be so easy for you to do? One of the cruelest things about trauma is not only what they did to you. It is how easily they seemed able to do it. Something that obliterated your sense of safety, reconfigured your nervous system and changed the way you experience yourself and the world… They appeared to do without hesitation, reluctance or resistance. Perhaps there was even an apparent enthusiasm that you still cannot comprehend. And your mind is left confronting an almost impossible contradiction: How could something that devastated me be so easy for you to do? That question can become even more painful when the person who harmed you was someone who claimed to love you. Your guard wasn’t up. Your defences were down. You trusted them precisely because you believed you were safe with them. And then the person you associated with safety became the source of the trauma. That can be extraordinarily difficult to integrate. And sometimes there is another layer to the injury: what happens afterwards. The minimisation. The rewriting. The denial. The gaslighting. Perhaps they never fully acknowledge the enormity of what happened — or the enormity of its impact on you. Perhaps accepting that reality would require them to confront something about themselves that their psychological defences simply will not allow them to confront. And this is where you can become trapped. Because understandably, you want them to understand. You want accountability. You want them to finally say: I understand what I did to you. But perhaps they never will. And if your healing depends upon their acknowledgement, their accountability or the closure you hope they will give you, then they continue to hold extraordinary power over your emotional world. At some point, healing may require a profound shift: You stop giving them that authority. You stop making their insight a prerequisite for your recovery. You stop waiting for the person who wounded you to provide the explanation that finally allows you to heal. You may never understand how they could do what they did. They may never accept the enormity of it. But their denial does not have to become your prison. You do not need their permission, their understanding or even their accountability to begin reclaiming your life. Sometimes the deepest wound is not only what happened, but the incomprehensible ease with which someone you trusted could cause it. Healing can begin when their acknowledgement is no longer a prerequisite for your recovery. #Trauma #TraumaRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #Healing #MentalHealth

JaceFace :

Yeah she laughed at my tears when we said goodbye and then blocked and lied about me to everyone. We were engaged and together 4 years btw 🥀💔

Bean :

I was just telling someone my story regarding this. I realized I never healed, haven't felt safe in ages no matter how I try.

Kenneth Steiniche Ni :

I needed this

Sue :

Incredibly sad because it’s soo true.

Dawn Bradley :

Please share the TikTok of your story you shared of your story of growing up and how you made it where you are today. I can not find it and I desperately need to find it for my 20 year old granddaughter. I will never understand the horrible life she has had with friends growing up and her Dad. She is severely depressed and is on antipsychotic medications and needs help. She is in counseling and therapy and has helped a little. Please share your story TikTok with me. I wish I had saved it.

Babs :

I wish you would be my psychologist 💗 you are so heartwarming and kind 🫶🏻 love your content 💕

user9269951863878 :

This makes me so sad. There were so many[Crying][Crying][Crying]

Hana :

I don’t need their acknowledgment I don’t care what comes from their mouth. So I want to move forward but how can I do it? What steps do I need to make?

Dana’s Rêverie :

Dr.. how long will it take me to recover and feel normal again after the trauma of a narcissistic husband? I feel totally stuck and don’t have the energy to do literally anything 😔💔

Bellalife :

numb and sad 😳

random :

growing up i found it easier to say "its my fault and i deserved it" rather than accept the concept that 'monsters' do exist and have no justification nor reason for what they do. now with proper help for cptsd and bpd diagnosis i learned how wrong and mean i had been toward myself. thank you for your kindness and words, your videos are a blessing for those who struggle 🫶

ritafayy :

Thank you I needed to hear this

boxwhatbox :

It took me ages to see the how. I can only surmise the why.

Jenny :

Can you imagine me saying I’m “80” years old now and still waiting? I don’t think so, my goodness that would be so sad.

Ibadibba :

It’s hard to accept but they will never see it. I’ve been cutting people off left right and centre.

user8625236794934 :

hm... yes...

havin :

Hello

Johanna Bom 💣 :

💚💚💚🙏🏻👌

🩷🤍 X.O.R.O.X.Y🤍🩷 :

Families and children rights :

Thank you for sharing 👍👍👍

tonis154 :

Thank you so much for this ❤️

tonis154 :

I feel every single word of this and the way back is long and hard. I can’t say how long that will take, but I will never go back and some day I will be truly free. So sad 🥲

tonis154 :

It’s frightening to experience for sure!

Sarah Barker :

I was 4

Kristi Lynn :

This was and is still one of the worst thing I have ever gone through!