madi :
collin there is too much. I started watching a few years ago, and I felt like I was doing fine when I wasn't. I struggled with really bad anxiety, and I ignored God through it all. I had the same robotic prayer of "Thank you God, keep me safe" ever since I was a child. And with your videos I have had conviction after conviction, and with every one of those, I started to realize how broken I truly was, I utterly hated what God created every time I looked in the mirror. And when I started realizing that, started paying attention in church, avoiding those friends, opening up about my testimony, talking about Jesus to others, thats when I felt Jesus. Thats when the darkness I called life turned into the exit into my holy life. I started seeing God in every little thing, started to pray over everyone and everything, and even went through the hardest of trials and still thanked God. Sometimes I tell myself I'm done, sometimes I cry out to God, asking to feel his hand on my shoulder, guiding me to the next step, and when I don't feel it I let myself sit in the silence, because I've learned the silence of God Sometimes is when you know you've started to doubt yourself too much. When I start to doubt I start to question, and what I've heard from God silently is that I must hold onto my faith. The same way Job went through all of those things when life was fine just a day ago, he didn't mope around, he dropped to his knees, and cried out to God. It's the same way Noah went through the 40 days and 40 nights with no sign of land. The two men didn't quit, they stayed on their feet, keeping their eyes up to heaven. Though my anxiety will last a lifetime, it will not control my life anymore. it will not have me in tears every night questioning even my fave color. God has always made it clear through songs, church services, even Tv that he is not a spirit of fear, but a spirit of faith and peace. I started not worrying about my future and if I'll rise again the next morning but instead keeping my eyes on the prize: heaven. The Jesus hug. Ive needed it so much, the Jesus hug, because when his arms around you, he will never let you go, because we are made in the image of God.
2026-09-18 22:01:07