jcaron33 :
Since you don’t have an account anymore, I guess I’ll use this as a place to talk to myself, to write down my thoughts, and maybe, somewhere along the way, figure out who I am without you.
Learning how to live a life without you has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I still don’t know how to make sense of it all. I’m trying to understand how someone who meant so much to me can become someone I have to learn to live without.
One thing I’ve learned is that no matter how much you love someone, how much you sacrifice, or how hard you try to make things work, you can’t make someone love you back. And that might be one of the hardest truths I’ve ever had to accept.
Today, I had the opportunity to go spend time with another girl, and I told her no. Not because there was anything wrong with her, but because, if I’m being honest with myself, my heart is still somewhere else. It’s still with you. I could have sat across from someone new, had a good conversation, and tried to move forward, but all I could think about was you.
And maybe that’s my problem right now. I’m trying to figure out how to move forward when a part of me is still holding on to someone who isn’t here anymore.
I don’t know how long this will take. I don’t know when I’ll stop looking for you in the little things or when thinking about you will stop hurting so much. But I guess that’s why I’m writing this down. Maybe one day I’ll look back at these words and realize that, little by little, I found my way back to myself.
For now, I’m just trying to make it through another day without you.
2026-10-12 22:46:18