@sarah.s_pete: Ive been debating on posting this because it is vulnerable, and sometimes it is incredibly difficult to explain something like this to people who have never lived it. I grew up in the FLDS and left when I was 16. Leaving meant walking away from an entire life, but it also meant leaving behind people I loved who were not leaving with me. My sister is still living within that world, and for the past 5 years I have had absolutely no contact with her. For five years, I didn’t get to see her. I didn’t know where she was, how she was doing, what her life looked like, I didn’t even know if I would ever see her again. There is a very specific kind of pain that comes from losing someone who is still alive. You can’t mourn them because they’re still here. You can’t say goodbye because you’re still holding onto the hope that someday you’ll see them again. You just have to learn how to live with the uncertainty. And as much as I wish things were different, I also have to respect that she has her own agency and her own choices. That has been one of the hardest things for me to accept. Loving someone sometimes means accepting that you cannot choose their life for them, even when you desperately wish you could. A little while ago, circumstances unexpectedly gave us an opportunity to see each other again. By the grace of God, after five years apart, I was finally able to see my sister in person. Even though the circumstances that brought us together were far from ideal, I am unbelievably grateful for those few moments. I finally got to see her face, hear her voice, hold her, and know that she was alive and okay. And then came the hardest part. We had to let go again. I don’t know when I’ll see her next. I don’t know what the future holds. But I refuse to give up hope that someday we’ll have more time. Hope that someday we won’t have to say goodbye. Until then, I will love you from wherever I am. I love you, sis🤍 #sisters #flds #emotional #exflds #fyp

Sarah S Peterson

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Friday 18 September 2026 20:00:39 GMT