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Kak Ct Nur
Kak Ct Nur
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Sunday 20 September 2026 05:00:35 GMT
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for years, i thought my husband’s moods were the problem. if he was stressed, i was stressed. if he was overwhelmed, i was overwhelmed. if he was withdrawn, i was anxious. if he was angry, i was walking on eggshells. i genuinely believed i was just empathetic (maybe even weak). but what i eventually realized was that i had decided it was easier to manage his emotions than feel my own. my nervous system was constantly monitoring his nervous system. i thought he might be doing something wrong. or he had healing to do. but somewhere along the way, i had become anchored to his okayness. if he was okay, i could relax. if he wasn’t okay, neither was i. and that meant i was never actually free. the biggest shift in my life wasn’t learning how to regulate him. it wasn’t learning better communication. it wasn’t getting him to change. it was learning how to hold my own emotions when he couldn’t hold his. learning how to sit with discomfort without immediately trying to fix it. learning how to stay connected to myself while someone i love was struggling. because when i stopped making his emotional state responsible for mine, something unexpected happened: i loved him better. i listened better. i stopped carrying things that weren’t mine. and i finally experienced peace that wasn’t dependent on another person’s mood. if someone’s mood can change yours, they’re probably more than a person in your life. they might be an anchor. #nervoussystem #HealingJourney #innerpeace #selfhealing #healingtok
for years, i thought my husband’s moods were the problem. if he was stressed, i was stressed. if he was overwhelmed, i was overwhelmed. if he was withdrawn, i was anxious. if he was angry, i was walking on eggshells. i genuinely believed i was just empathetic (maybe even weak). but what i eventually realized was that i had decided it was easier to manage his emotions than feel my own. my nervous system was constantly monitoring his nervous system. i thought he might be doing something wrong. or he had healing to do. but somewhere along the way, i had become anchored to his okayness. if he was okay, i could relax. if he wasn’t okay, neither was i. and that meant i was never actually free. the biggest shift in my life wasn’t learning how to regulate him. it wasn’t learning better communication. it wasn’t getting him to change. it was learning how to hold my own emotions when he couldn’t hold his. learning how to sit with discomfort without immediately trying to fix it. learning how to stay connected to myself while someone i love was struggling. because when i stopped making his emotional state responsible for mine, something unexpected happened: i loved him better. i listened better. i stopped carrying things that weren’t mine. and i finally experienced peace that wasn’t dependent on another person’s mood. if someone’s mood can change yours, they’re probably more than a person in your life. they might be an anchor. #nervoussystem #HealingJourney #innerpeace #selfhealing #healingtok

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