Anthony | How to People
Region: US
Sunday 20 September 2026 18:23:57 GMT
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Ingela :
That is a false dichotomy. The only options are not that we never say anything OR we provide the whole answer. When someone is given the answer there is no learning.
2026-09-20 18:28:39
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☾ Phantasmaverse ☽ :
Fun Fact: You are not omniscent. You do not know everything. This is why we do this thing called helping others understand their mistakes.
2026-09-20 23:01:27
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potatoesandfunkysocks :
Oh man what I really don’t get about “you should know what you did wrong” is—surely, if the person knew and *did it anyway*, that’s WORSE???
2026-09-22 07:56:20
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Queen Figgy :
Back to kindergarten with the “I feel _ when you _” - the reason we were taught that is because sometimes, people hurt other because they don’t understand that it hurts others
2026-09-21 00:43:48
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SexyLittleFatBoy :
We tend to assume that if a person doesn't get what's going on, it's because they don't care enough to put the time and effort into figuring it out. But I've found that if I just clearly articulate why I'm upset and what I think he should do about it to my (loving, but clueless) ADHD boyfriend, he really does make an effort to repair things and alter his behaviour in the future, so not caring enough isn't really the problem, is it? 😅
2026-09-20 21:37:44
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JamesTanm :
remember: people aren't psychic and people aren't you. you can save yourself a lot of anger and hurt by reminding yourself that not everyone knows what you know, and not everyone's actions mean what they would if it was you doing them. I had a friend get pissed at someone because she thought they were giving her the silent treatment. turns out they were just really forgetful and bad at texting. don't assume, explain and verify
2026-09-21 19:00:26
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Marin 🦋 :
it cant be this crazy for someone to suggest that relationships that you want to keep going require open communication on BOTH sides and that shouldnt stop when someone’s upset. like??? no one’s a mind reader?? if you want someone to pick up on something they did wrong and they havent, maybe tell them…. 🤯
2026-09-22 03:00:30
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James Ross :
Yeah. "When I did that it seemed wrong," is sufficiently aware.Wanting more knowledge in them is a me problem. My nervous system making a mistake.
2026-09-20 21:39:00
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xcrazytoxickittyx :
From personal experience I’ve learnt that it’s better to ask what went wrong after the person is in a bit of a better mindset. If you’re overstimulated or having an episode of some kind you generally don’t want someone talking to you or asking questions. If you’ve just hurt someone albeit not intentionally they’re still going to be hurt and might be a bit more emotionally volatile. Sometimes space and a bit of time can be the difference between a negative answer and a constructive answer.
2026-09-22 02:32:32
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Gray :
Yeah like… sometimes I can tell I have missed the mark and made someone upset. But I have no idea what specific thing was the issue. So if I say “hey something feels off, have I done something to offend you? If so I’m very sorry, it wasn’t my intention, if you tell me specifically what it was I will do my best to not do it again” I do not see the issue in that.
2026-09-26 11:45:58
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BelleOh :
So much of this is just human communication, that everyone has to do. Whether the other person was ND or NT I would still say like “hey thanks for the apology I really appreciate it. Would you mind talking me through your perspective on what happened? I want to make sure we’re on the same page, and that I don’t assume you don’t get it and that you have a chance to clarify anything you’re unsure about”
2026-09-23 04:38:50
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johnbearoverthere :
and evrryone does this. a rich person might not realize they are being rude to a poor person, a sports fan might not realize they are being to aggressive socially. aomeone who doesnt like your nerd stuff might not realize their opening question is a rude stereotype. evrryone from every walk of life is accidentally rude and makes minor mistakes all the time and its up to you no matter who you are to decide if you want to address it and how
2026-09-21 19:57:26
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bibliophile.bird :
mmm definitely not neurotypical, i spy a MTG tattoo 👀 /silly /lh
2026-09-21 18:25:58
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Drielle Silva Gonçalves :
I agree, but you do have to learn. When I had this problem in my life, my issue wasn’t explaining once or twice. The issue was that I had to keep repeating myself
2026-10-01 16:10:34
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mhm :
the only way it will ever be okay for these commenters is if the person who wronged them is to die. even then they'll say their death was deserved
2026-09-22 15:38:07
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@forgedmuse 🇿🇦 :
Most women expect you to know. It’s a meme at this point.
2026-09-21 12:53:44
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b612 :
no, but you said that nt people are amazing and we have to chop ourselves to fit into their systems, why not fit in and stop there?
2026-09-21 04:07:03
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