@drbeckyatgoodinside: There's a moment in my conversation with Chris Voss, the former FBI hostage negotiator (@thefbinegotiator), that I keep coming back to. He talked about what to do when your kid screams "I hate you," and it's not to defend yourself, it's to get curious. "You hate me?" Not because the words don't sting, but because that curiosity is what keeps him from spiraling into being offended, and if you're offended, you're no good to the person in front of you. Hear the rest of our conversation on the Good Inside podcast.
Dr. Becky | Psychologist
Region: US
Sunday 20 September 2026 18:28:01 GMT
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kristenmcg :
I hate you. You hate me? Yes, I do. Then what?
2026-09-20 19:20:07
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Harmony Jonas :
I usually go " You hate me because - the thing? " because im genuinely curious, like... You hate me because I wont let you bite your little sister? I guess I can live with that.... because even to a 4 year old it usually sounds a bit silly.
2026-09-20 20:55:32
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Janedoebubbe :
I have said "that must feel stressful" and kept on doing my thing. It's such a power shift because I am not carrying it.
2026-09-21 05:03:58
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Dr. Melanie - Psychologist :
As a psychologist, I appreciate how curiosity can give us a moment to choose our response when words hurt. With a child, “Help me understand what felt so upsetting” can open a conversation we might miss while defending ourselves. And feeling hurt doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent. You can pause, steady yourself, and come back with curiosity. There’s still room to talk about respectful communication once everyone is calmer. 🤍 Follow my page for more on emotional awareness, self-trust, and healthier relationships.
2026-09-23 13:50:42
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farmerfrance :
first time my kid did this it caught me so off guard that I accidentally busted into laughter. that was NOT the reaction he expected to get
2026-09-20 21:54:45
3
Tea :
I understood the feelings of hate for my parents. I usually said, "Ok" to my kids.
2026-09-20 20:42:11
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MoCowbell3000 :
Silly advice as usual. You don’t engage with a child being rude.
2026-09-29 13:04:45
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