Anthony | How to People
Region: US
Monday 21 September 2026 05:54:58 GMT
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dreamwithinadream :
Lots of aspie supremacy in this comment section
2026-09-21 08:34:14
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Audi HD :
They keep mistaking emotional immaturity for “neurotypical” its maddening
2026-09-21 18:04:01
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Hannah Keefer :
Ohhhh, small talk as a consent check is a helpful reframing
2026-09-21 13:04:55
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pygmalions_selfportrait :
nobody is asking themselves “is this person autistic.” they’re just seeing someone act very particular and not looking them in the eyes and understanding those signs as someone not respecting them/being friendly. nobody is stopping to ask if the persons intentions might be different from how they act.
2026-09-21 09:26:19
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Nathalie :
Honestly, I'm ND (AuDHD) & I have been taught these rules from a very young age. They're ingrained in me. So I get annoyed when others don't stick to them 😅 I go 'I'm pacing myself, I'm monitoring the conversation & figuring out what is appropriate. Why aren't you putting in the same effort, that's rude'
2026-09-21 10:57:38
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Physical Revelry :
Small talk as a mode of conversational consent 🤯 I’ve never heard it put that way and it makes SO MUCH SENSE.
2026-09-21 14:07:06
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J :
As a neurodivergent person, I’ve been seeing neurodivergent people online ask what’s wrong with them and why don’t other people like them and then when Neurotypical point out something that they need to work on they say “oh that’s so stupid and inefficient why can’t they just do it my way?” as if that wasn’t the whole point of them asking and they refuse to change so it’s like why are you wasting everyone’s time by asking then?
2026-09-22 02:08:25
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anna :
also people need to remember that neurodivergence is not just autism and ADHD! dyslexia, ocd, etc are all neurodivergencies and it may differ how much they affect you socially.
2026-09-21 11:18:03
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stickstickley :
I tried to explain this very arguement in a polite and delicate way, with an example, in another comment section and got ripped apart by NDs for acting in a stupid and inefficient manner for communicating the way I described. As if it was an illegitimate way to behave despite - by literal definition - being "typical" in society. I'd love to know what they have to say about entire cultures which rely on indirect and nuanced communication styles. Are they stupid cultures?
2026-09-21 12:43:16
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Kwakuam :
Let's not forget that neurotypicals, just like neurodivergent people, cannot help the fact that they are neurotypical.
2026-09-21 21:31:16
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🌞lich :
ppl who have made aspie supremacy their whole personality and copium are clutching their pearls in the comment section lol
2026-09-21 08:58:15
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🗡️🐇 :
it’s a disservice to ourselves as NDs to act as if we’re 1. incapable of learning these social rules, 2. unable to put in the effort to adapt and engage with them, and 3. act as if we’re better than NTs for not doing the social game of small talk. NTs have to learn these rules too, it just comes a bit easier for them. That doesn’t make NDs helplessly unable to learn them too
2026-09-21 16:28:14
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Kevyn_nn :
Why do we always have to learn THEIR language tho..
2026-09-21 15:02:11
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Lillian Jungleib :
So much of our neurodivergent discourse has become bashing the way neurotypicals do things and our as superior. I love that you don’t fall into that. And you explain it basically like a cultural difference.
2026-09-21 16:42:27
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not.that.martha :
I love everything you’ve said here. Im late diagnosed neurodivergent, and something I’ve noticed amongst (usually younger) NDs is a sense of — not in as many words — “masking and learning social rules are difficult and uncomfortable, therefore I shouldn’t have to do them and I have a right to impose discomfort on others as payback”. Like, part of existing in society is compromise, and having to sit with discomfort sometimes, and not always getting our own way. That’s sometimes difficult, but so are lots of things; that doesn’t mean they’re not important or that we get to opt out.
2026-09-21 17:30:44
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Austin Beeman | Wine + Travel :
It seems like the neurodivergent experience is very similar to a Neurotypical person in the early stages of learning, a foreign language, especially in a high trust, high context society
2026-09-21 07:24:39
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M :
I disagree tbh, if you're a neurotypical why if you know that someone struggles with certain things not make accomodations for them. Especially if you know the effort they are trying to put into these things. It's just manipulation
2026-09-21 21:03:11
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blujay00 :
We also cannot act like autistic people can’t learn social queues and norms too. They can, it’s just harder. They aren’t totally helpless unless they decide to be.
2026-09-23 16:29:18
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worththewater :
Yep. I also see the "neurotypical people just lie constantly" take constantly. When really neurotypical people communicate in a way that they fully believe the listener is understanding in context. They don't expect someone to be taking everything perfectly literally and when you do that they tend to assume you're being malicious because the alternative is thinking you completely missed the point which seems unbelievable because neurotypicals of the same culture would just understand. Yes they need to learn to communicate more inclusively, especially in the work place. No they're not trying to decieve you. Exception of course actual abusive people.
2026-09-22 03:52:24
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Dad :
I think of a lot of autistic people take the confusion and cruelness of their childhood and then never try to learn the rules as adults out if spite tbh. "how was I supposed to know that?" when the rule was: don't stare at people it makes them uncomfortable
2026-09-22 13:14:07
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🧘♀️ :
I genuinely thought a lot of people didn’t like me, and then I started smiling at people i knew and they would light up and I realized it was me all along [Crying] I was giving fuck off vibes and then being confused when people fucked off
2026-09-21 19:41:30
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fishtime :
as a multilingual person and the child of immigrants this part always confused me about autistic people because these "politeness rules" vary quite a lot across cultures so everytime I learned a new language I had to learn a new set of rules so why is it so hard for autistic people to simply learn these rules im not trying to be ableist I genuinely dont understand 😭 a lot of behaviors that are acceptable in one culture aren't in another if I speak with someone in English I have to watch out that I smile more if I speak Russian I do the opposite because useless smiling is seen as weird by most Slavic cultures but Americans precive it as rude if I dont and there are millions of such discrepancies across the 3 languages I speak fluently and the 4th one im learning so why is it such a struggle for you guys? these rules dont come naturally to me either and i dont mean this in a mean way I just want to understand
2026-09-21 11:46:26
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nas :
I think a lot of yall just because you are neurodivergent so you don’t try to get better at socialization I have autism and ADHD and do I experience difficulties absolutely(executive functioning, platonic and romantic relationships, vocal communication, attention etc) but I have never thought anything like what yall think about neurotypicals
2026-09-21 19:06:01
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