Ell | Cultivating Bold Spaces
Region: GB
Monday 21 September 2026 16:33:27 GMT
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ScreamingIntoTheVoid :
pushing boys into protective roles also has an insinuation that boys lives are expendable.
2026-09-21 22:44:00
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tomo :
the whole "provider" mindset is also incredibly transactional and just leaves men thinking that as long as they make enough money, they can basically buy access to a woman
2026-09-21 17:34:18
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yeah__________________ :
i have nothing to provide there for i have nothing anyone would want
2026-10-11 23:14:29
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A X E L :
it also infantilizes women and ends up creating a very paternalistic view on femininity
2026-09-21 17:12:52
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djdjdje :
you’re spot on that this role builds a lot of resentment. it also makes men look at women as frivolous and incapable
2026-09-21 17:16:58
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worththewater :
You're one of the only creators that combines feminism with compassion for boys and men who isn't also here just to pander to men's anger for clips. Thanks for that.
2026-09-21 16:52:23
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Javi :
Bioessentialism in our world will always feed into misogyny no matter what. It'll either do so by overt ways of hating people or more covert ways like with purity culture.
2026-09-21 16:37:58
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Gflagget :
This is what I mean when I say the left talks about men but not too men. The right will say "If you adopt the role of patriarch here's a wife and kids" the left doesn't reward men for doing that instead it's just be a "good man" for others. Men are expected to ensure the space (when it is mixed sex and everyone is expected to come) and environment is something women feel safe and comfortable in. There isn't really a "reward" for men being "good" and it's still qualities being ascribed to him whether or not he actually wants to be beholden to those things everyone wants to be good, no one wants to be told how to be good and judged on whether or not they're "good enough" for others. The Barbie movie's central theme to men being exactly that that he has to find himself for himself and not others is something I think more leftists need to take to heart and rework how we talk about and to men around
2026-09-21 17:39:03
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Mindful :
It's also hard to make the argument that boys should protect and provide without implying that girls are weaker and less capable
2026-09-21 20:30:26
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Iccy Cog :
Advice I give to young boys on what it means to be a man. "Do you think you're male? Congratulations, you're a man. Now go out, be yourself, and don't let anyone define what is and isn't manly or your role as a man." I don't care if you're a lumberjack that drinks whiskey straight and does drag ballet in their free time. Just be yourself and be a decent person.
2026-09-21 19:31:48
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Excalibrate :
Yeah, "protect and provide" is two jumps away from "I need to restrict your freedom so I can keep you safe"
2026-09-21 17:16:53
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wobblebuffett :
I think the better option is just to start teaching women the same thing. If both genders have that mindset, it takes half the burden off of it for both of them inherently, while still encouraging being a productive member of the relationship.
2026-09-21 19:52:41
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Korra Defense Force (Hakim) :
"protect and provide" also directly connects to traditional and patriarchal gender roles, so long as we push boys into this role, we will never destroy the patriarchy
2026-09-21 20:56:53
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Zedd :
I'm autistic and this was one of the "societal norms" I struggled very much to understand. because I just wanted to be me, not have my existence tied to this person or that person. and don't get me wrong, I don't mind providing or protecting, but I don't like it being forced on me or I'd be worthless, or it being the only thing that matters about my life
2026-09-21 20:24:21
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Romeo Canedo :
The resentment can come from the insinuation that their lives are less important than others. Being expected to throw their lives away because “that’s what you should do”
2026-09-21 17:14:13
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Genny :
I’m not a protector. I’m an artist, a thinker, a writer, a creator, a caretaker, a lover, a hard worker, and my life and safety matters too. I’m no one’s protector, I’m no one’s husband and I’m no one’s fighter. I’m not bound to the same bioessentialist low vibrational thinking these people believe in.
2026-09-21 18:17:33
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nyninyan :
Also protect women from who? Other men… provide for who? Most women work anyway… don’t those ppl hear how outdated and creepy they sound.
2026-09-21 22:24:10
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Wumbo :
you make me feel sane in an ocean of people trying their best to misunderstand each other
2026-09-21 17:08:35
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King Lucas :
I also wonder if people are considering the implications of essentially giving men a monopoly on violence
2026-09-22 03:48:29
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Jacob :
Hear me out, it’s also an extremely transactional and capitalist view of gender. It turns male and female relationships transactional
2026-09-22 16:15:45
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Trainer Mike :
I could absolutely see it building resentment don't get me wrong. I want to protect and provide for my family because I love them but when you tell me that I literally have to be a human meat shield for everybody else in society just because I was born a certain way It makes me feel like you don't value me
2026-09-21 19:07:37
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HearthianSympathizer :
you articulate these things super well, thank you
2026-09-21 17:12:07
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SillySammy :
Being told not to hit girls while also being told to suck it up when I fell off my bike and cried did not make me a better person. It made me bitter and hateful. The only reason I’m a good person now is because I’m trans and I like butches and tomboys too much so I never bought in to alpha male content
2026-09-22 03:35:09
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Victor_Fortnite :
The only way to make good people is to teach that everyone is the same and human at the core. Giving people roles at birth is dehumanizing, stripping away the complexity of their minds and personalities and telling them they have to fit into a certain mold. And no role, no matter how good it seems, removes the dehumanization that comes from this process. And dehumanizing children in this way then teaches them to dehumanize others, and the cycle continues
2026-09-21 23:56:07
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