@hopewithholly: Before you end a relationship, figure out what you’re actually dealing with: Human behavior. Disrespect. Or abuse. Human beings are going to disappoint each other. We get defensive. We misunderstand. We say things badly. We get overwhelmed, reactive, selfish, anxious, depressed, distracted, and sometimes we just screw up. That requires conversation and repair, not immediate exile. Then there’s disrespect. Someone crosses a boundary, dismisses you, speaks to you poorly, behaves selfishly, or keeps doing something that hurts you. Sometimes they don’t even understand how their behavior is affecting you until you tell them. So tell them. Set the boundary. Explain the impact. Give them the opportunity to take responsibility and change. Then watch what happens next. Do they apologize? Do they care about the impact? Do they actually change their behavior? Or do they minimize it, blame you, retaliate, and keep doing it? That information matters. And then there is abuse: PATTERNS of intimidation, coercion, degradation, threats, domination, sexual or physical harm, or behavior that repeatedly makes you afraid to disagree, say no, or exist freely in the relationship. Most relational harm needs to be evaluated by pattern, severity, accountability, and what happens after the problem is addressed. One ugly interaction does not automatically make someone an abusive person—although some acts are serious enough to be abuse the first time. I worry that being chronically online has taught us a lot of therapy language without always teaching us relational skills. Not everybody who hurts you is evil. Not everybody who disappoints you is abusive. Not every difficult relationship needs to end. Sometimes people need accountability. Sometimes they need boundaries. Sometimes they need fewer privileges in your life. And sometimes, yes, they need no access to you at all. But healthy relationships are not relationships where nobody ever inconveniences or hurts anybody. The price of relationships is inconvenience. Two imperfect humans loving each other will eventually have imperfect moments. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s repair. And if someone is safe enough to have the conversation with, give the relationship enough dignity to have it before deciding what access they should have to you. #relationships #disrespect #abuseawareness #relationshipskills

Hope with Holly

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Thursday 24 September 2026 14:49:28 GMT