@bnurul_:

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Friday 25 September 2026 11:41:36 GMT
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Every couple I've watched stuck in this loop has the same scene. One partner in the kitchen saying,
Every couple I've watched stuck in this loop has the same scene. One partner in the kitchen saying, "You're doing it again, you've gone somewhere." And the other one standing right there, present in body, gone in every other way, wanting to answer and finding nothing. If you're the one who goes somewhere, I made this for you. Not to fix you. Your body isn't malfunctioning when it shuts down mid-argument. It's doing exactly what it learned to do a long time ago, probably in a house where going quiet kept things calm. The trouble is that the person who loves you now reads that quiet as leaving. So they push. And the push makes your body pull further in. Round and round, and you both end up lonely in the same house. What helps isn't becoming a different person. It's a few small sentences that keep you in the room. Telling your partner you're overwhelmed while it's happening. Giving them a real time you'll come back, down to the minute. Letting the words be messy instead of waiting for perfect ones. Getting your body settled before your mouth opens. And one question, the one in the video, that pulls you out of freeze faster than anything I've seen. In the couples I work with, the quiet partner is often the one carrying the most feeling, they just never learned it was safe to let it out. And to the partner who chases, when they tell you they need ten minutes, that's them fighting for you. Let them have it. Want to know whether you're the pursuer or the withdrawer in your relationship, and why? I've got a free attachment quiz at the link in my bio. #withdrawer #pursuerwithdrawer #avoidantpartner #relationshipconflict #couplescommunication This is relationship education, not therapy, and nothing here creates a therapist-client relationship. I read what I can, but I can't reply to everyone and may not see your message. If you're struggling, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional in your area.💗

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