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And I hope I finally learn to love myself whenever no one is there for me — so I stop searching for someone to love me and make me feel worthy. It hurts so much to realize I’ve grown so thirsty for love and attention from others. There are moments I feel so sorry for myself. I should have chosen myself back then, instead of pouring every bit of my love into someone who has left me empty. It hurts even more because he was my whole motivation — and now he is gone. He was my strength whenever I felt sad and had nothing left. He spoiled me with sweetness, until everything just changed… and he was the one who pursued me first. I was so happy back then, thinking someone actually wanted me. But why does it feel like over time, he has made me feel like I mean nothing — like I’m not even worth loving? I’m the one keeping our conversations alive, even when he doesn’t reply or disappears for months. I keep waiting for messages, until I realized it’s better to wait quietly than to let myself be drained completely. Every time I give this much, I only hurt more and lose more of myself. I want to be loved, cared for, protected, valued, and understood too. I want someone who is afraid of losing me — I want to feel special. I want someone who truly, deeply cares that I’m in their life. I am so tired of being the one who stays — always there, always holding on, always giving everything… only to be left behind for another woman... It hurts so much, and it’s so tiring to love when you’re the only one showing up for your relationship… He has already abandoned me, though. And that hurts more than anything — I loved him more than I loved myself... haha.... people are BULLSHIT!
2026-09-28 02:11:57