TATER TOT MOM: THAT”S MESSED UP BRO 🖤 TATER TOT MOM UPDATE — DRAVEN So… this was officially one of the most humiliating nights of my life. Even worse than when we found out Vivian was a reptilian shapeshifter. …Oops. We don’t talk about Vivian. Never mind. Sorry, Mom. Moving on. Anyway, my asshole friend decided to announce one of my biggest secrets to an entire desert party. Actually, correction. My ex-girlfriend told my asshole friend the secret. So apparently privacy is just something everybody in Sunridge collectively decided doesn’t exist. Thanks, guys. Really appreciate it. Then, because apparently public humiliation wasn’t enough for one evening, the freaking sky opened up. Everybody scattered, and there I was—drunk, alone, scared, freezing cold and soaking wet in the middle of the desert. Great night. Five stars. Would definitely recommend. So what did I do? I started wandering through the desert in the pouring rain toward the one person I actually wanted to see. Vesper. And what happened when I finally showed up soaking wet at his door? Nice try. PICK UP MY DAMN BOOK ALREADY. Seriously. My mother wrote an entire book about the most humiliating, confusing and unexpectedly important Valentine’s Day of my life. And because apparently the paperback didn’t embarrass me enough, she has now released a freaking ILLUSTRATED HARDCOVER. So now you can experience my emotional breakdowns in premium binding. Fantastic. Read Draven’s Valentine: A Tater Tot Mom Love Story and find out what happened when I showed up at Vesper’s house that night. And Mom? The hardcover looks great. It’s still fucking pink. — Draven 🖤 #TaterTotMom #DravensValentine #Draven #Vesper #TheBoyBehindTheBlack - @tatertotmom5