I don’t always know how to explain what’s wrong, and sometimes I don’t even have the energy to try. I keep telling myself that I’ll feel better eventually, but some days, everything feels heavier than it should. I talk, I laugh, and I act like nothing is wrong, hoping no one notices how tired I actually am. I’ve become so used to hiding what I feel that sometimes I forget how to be honest about it. There are things I still think about when everyone is asleep, things I never said and feelings I never knew how to express. I miss people, I miss moments, and sometimes I even miss the person I used to be before all of this. I wish I could go back to when my heart felt lighter and I didn’t have to question everything I cared about. I don’t want attention, and I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. I just wish, for once, I didn’t have to pretend that I’m okay when I’m not. Maybe I’m tired of being strong, tired of hiding behind a smile, and tired of saying “I’m fine” when the truth is much simpler. I’m just not okay. And maybe that’s all I can say for now. - @5jrll