noobcitogamerYT :
Sometimes I think I’m a burden to people, as if eventually everyone will get tired of me, as if the way I am is simply too much for others. I find myself thinking about every conversation, every moment, everything I said, wondering if maybe I talked too much, if I bothered someone, or if I did something that made someone pull away. Sometimes I feel like I try to give the best of myself, to be there, to listen, to support others, to make them laugh, and yet I still end up wondering if anyone actually enjoys my company or if they just put up with me out of obligation.
It’s hard for me to understand why some people come into my life, stay for a while, and then change. My mind starts looking for answers, and it almost always ends up blaming me. I think maybe I’m boring, maybe I’m tiring, maybe the way I care about people is too much. Sometimes I’m afraid to show who I really am because I feel like if someone gets to know me too well, they might find reasons to leave.
There are moments when I see other people with their friends and wonder why, for them, it seems so easy to keep people close. I wonder what they have that I don’t. I wonder if I’m doing something wrong without realizing it. And even though I try not to think that way, there are days when that thought weighs more heavily than usual.
Sometimes I feel like I’m the person who is there for others when they need me, but when I need something, I feel like there’s no one there. And that makes me think about a lot of things. It makes me wonder if I matter to others as much as they matter to me.
But I also know that maybe my mind exaggerates a lot of things. That not every person who pulls away means they hate me or that I failed somehow. Even so, those thoughts keep coming back, and it’s hard to turn them off. I just wish I could stop feeling like I have to earn my place in people’s lives, as if my existence had to be a constant test for someone to decide whether they want to stay...
2026-10-07 20:33:24