@melalato: Okay i felt like i should post something for my birthday even though im a little late… so here it is! felt like this drawing was kinda boring and static but you guys have to like it cause its my birthday! i’m eventually gonna come around to the skills i dream of having anyway, so the only way to make sure of it happening is to keep drawing even though i think they all suck… but at least I do give it my best efforts…no matter how stupid the idea is. I guess the act of taking an idea and doing something with it is too addictive. I constantly have daydreams about my ideas so I have to make them before the delusions of grandeur fade away, as fast as my optimism for the future when I go on instagram. I always assumed that my birthday would be this ONE DAY i should be happy. on the contrary, I experienced all my birthdays as an internal shamefest. Probably due to internet-induced envy. I used to cry at my 7th thinking Im not enough because some kid i saw online was getting an xbox from their loving financially stable parents… or celebrated for painting the equivalent of mona lisa. I would wish I never existed so I could never feel the pain of dreaming to be something and knowing im not. So I made sure on my 18th to acknowledge that I get into this circular thinking. Cause you can always want more no matter where you get in life. Greedy greedy lalato! This birthday’s probably at the top of my list because I just had fun and I didn’t get too existential. Why do I need to feel special? Why am I so hard to please? When will I ever be satisfied? I just want to be in this dreamlike scenery where Im feeding ducks on the pond(think of the intro in Jazzpunk) without worrying about if im good enough, but here i am prefacing to everyone that i wish i could be better. i think writing this is making me spiral a little. It’s not ALWAYSSS that I feel like this. Most of the time I can look back at my old art and be so happy that me doing those got me to where I am now. Birthday blues probably. I’ll be in a better mindset once I get more rest. URMM. Thanks guys. #birthday

lalato

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Sunday 27 September 2026 15:22:42 GMT