Spencer
Region: CA
Sunday 27 September 2026 15:42:42 GMT
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°ʚ🎀ɞ° :
I'm autistic and I always hear ppl say u need to be vulnerable with ppl in order to get closer to them. how do u guys do that without over sharing😭😭
2026-09-28 06:45:14
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Pinkyere0 :
there's definitely a middle ground here....sounds like U went from one extreme to the other
2026-09-28 09:31:43
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samy🔻 :
+++ protection from love bombing narcs
2026-09-28 08:54:03
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Nitin :
I did not expect you to convince me through this video but you totally did. Wow, I'm impressed. you made me rethink a lot about my friendships to others as well.
2026-09-28 03:48:12
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Ayo :
The concept of “once they’ve shared their trauma I can no longer be their friend in a healthy way developmentally” isn’t something I’ve thought of honestly. For me I’ve always assumed you can re-enter shallow waters even after you’ve dived into deeper topics. In fact, for me knowing someone’s trauma first can be like a spoiler of what’s ahead so I can pursue the friendship without anxiety of not knowing the topic of future deep talks is.
2026-09-27 18:33:37
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matte 🔩 :
a recent friendship taught me that in the hardest way possible so thank you for showing me how i can turn that disappointment in a lesson and better boundaries for the future
2026-09-27 18:08:59
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Messy Sloppy Recovery :
What an awesome explanation! I’m autistic and tend to overshare early in friendships and be open to others doing the same. But after listening to you, I understand how it skews my perception of them, stops me from figuring out if I like them, and creates a false sense of intimacy. Thank you for sharing!
2026-09-27 18:22:29
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JHNN :
I think to add to your point. some people don't deserve to hear your trauma.
2026-09-28 00:27:23
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backitup :
Wise words. The 'illusion of intimacy' is so problematic.
2026-09-28 03:34:39
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ves_please :
your takes are so unique and elaborate, really glad to have found your page
2026-09-27 17:43:55
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cranialstatic :
dang i think you just leveled me way up
2026-09-28 09:22:40
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Sloan 🎀 :
this rule actually changed my friendships dramatically, and since then every person who hasn't liked this rule has been a MENACE in my life. it's so important to know you can have fun with a person before you get to the deeper stuff. ❤️
2026-09-27 17:04:20
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Kaj090 :
This is so individual. I’m glad this works for you and I think this is good boundary for people who have a difficult time separating behavior from trauma and holding people accountable. If someone tells me their trauma from day 1 or 5 years later, I will still view them from the same lens. I might understand the why behind their behavior after I know their trauma, but I don’t have a difficult time holding people accountable. I have Cptsd myself and understand it. I think putting hard walls or strict rules in any relationships can also have downsides, but that’s just my perspective and experience. In saying that, unless you’re in a dv or similar group and you meet someone that way, it’s not normal to tell someone your trauma right away.
2026-09-28 08:41:10
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Hiking Jo :
Yes hijacking intimacy is now something I see as a red flag. I left a large high-control region (LDS/Mormon) and so many people who leave develop really poor boundaries and share unearned intimacies, which continues some of the harms of the religion.
2026-10-04 15:16:23
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.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ 𝖓𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖘 +..｡*ﾟ+ :
this really makes me realise how my friendships have developed with some people... definitely agree at trauma dumping can make friendships form in "not normal" ways and artificial intimacy being created, super insightful ty for making this video!!
2026-09-27 16:02:55
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Still Searching :
I’ve realized some ppl use their experience to pry into yours. And then they use it against you. Unless you’re one of my close friends, you don’t get to know that info.
2026-09-28 08:35:06
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ofkings1968 :
interesting, I'm taking notes
2026-10-04 01:53:45
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⟡⋆˙𝄢𝐍𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐚𓏲ּ⊹ ࣪ ˖ :
People are more than their trauma and should give themselves a chance for themselves and than others, i completely agree with you! Knowing boundaries for healthy communication for both parties is really important
2026-10-04 12:05:58
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Ayo :
Projecting my growth onto people has absolutely happened to me. And then days and weeks later, I inevitably find out what kind of person they are and question my prior judgement. What led me to believe they’re a safe and good person? How could I be so wrong?
2026-09-27 18:20:39
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Kíran :
random people have told me their deepest shames and traumas out of nowhere and I still think about them years later. still don't know what to do with the information so I just....live with it?
2026-09-28 04:23:03
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Era | Nervous System & Mindset :
Spot on. This is huge for anyone who naturally gives a lot of emotional energy. & honestly? You do not have to defend or over explain why you have this boundary. It is allowed to just exist
2026-09-28 08:16:17
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:
You just described why my friendships never work out, it’s either someone doing this to me or me doing it to them. Now that Ive gotten out of that mental state I really should implement this. I’ve never had a relationship where it was without this problem, thank you for making this video.
2026-09-27 21:11:28
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💐 :
these is actually very helpfull advive
2026-09-27 16:35:36
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Haezel 💫 :
Thank you this is an interesting perspective
2026-09-27 22:32:13
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PinkPulpito :
People come first day and just unload on you and its not someone who is gonna protect your peace or know boundaries. People will chew you up and spit you out. Rushing intimacy is the biggest red flag in a person.
2026-09-27 22:05:01
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