Taleen
Region: GB
Monday 28 September 2026 21:12:05 GMT
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The Sports Fanatic :
Can an avoidant be both fearful and dismissive?
2026-09-30 13:11:26
0
Jeremiah :
But how do I stop being this way??
2026-09-29 09:07:58
1
traviepz5o3 :
Thank you for this. I’m still in shock and ruminate even after being blindsided 8 months ago with an FA break up. We were together for 3 years and I was going to propose this year. Literally the last 6 months of the relationship there were these tests that I’ve never really seen her do before. It was confusing for me like she wanted me to read her mind and meet her needs without saying anything until the last minute. I was always there to help regulate her and I knew her history of abandonment but I never would have thought that she would abandon me. When she broke up with me she used a line saying her therapist said to treat like a break up an that something was missing but that she didn’t know what. I was so traumatized cuz she was my home. We both cried for 2 days. She clenched me, told me she loves me, kissed me, said it was a huge mistake and that she couldn’t believe this was actually happening. She seemed so flooded and having difficulty controlling her emotions. Almost like there was an internal battle going on inside of her. I want her back more than anything but instead of being my best friend she treats me like a stranger now. She said she can’t emotionally handle seeing me in person and doesn’t think talking over the phone is a good idea. Her text messages are long, clinical, mixed, robotic and like she is trying to stay away from being emotional but at the same time trying to let me know she cares. I had to go into therapy with an attachment/trauma specialist cuz I’m so dysregulated. I used to be secure but now lean a little anxious. I can’t believe I lost her.
2026-09-28 21:46:53
16
LokiLucifer6 :
She told me everything I ever wanted to hear. A few weeks ago she laid in my arms talking about our future together. A week after that I’d never been treated so coldly in my life, and by my best friend. Like every moment we’d ever experienced together was imaginary. Like she didn’t call me her soulmate; her person. She wouldn’t even explain it to me. It’s like she’s a completely different person. It’s like the person I was in love with died and was replaced with a doppelgänger. The world feels colder than it used to. I miss my best friend.
2026-09-29 03:04:42
10
Laurin :
He didn’t even come up with things wrong, he repeatedly said I never asked for too much that I was perfect that I saw him and always cared for him in ways he didn’t even know he needed. He just said it made him feel guilty and left. 😔
2026-09-28 23:06:41
20
Christi Lu :
It feels like you literally were describing my life !!
2026-09-29 05:26:18
14
Diane :
you hit the nail right on the head I dated a fearful avoidant for 2 yrs and our lov
2026-09-28 23:52:01
6
Alexαndræ` 🧿 :
This. Word for word. When I finally fell for her and felt the shift, I tried to leave 2 or 3 times… but she would always refuse and become dramatic - it was too late, I was deeply in love with her so kept going. She wanted to take control and to decide when to leave then pretend nothing existed. She hated everything about me, all what she once loved before. Sudden brutal void and silence. No accountability, conversation, closure... I was now and suddenly the burden, the intense, emotional idiot, the « too much » when just asking for clarity… I feel like nobody can understand me and how violent and traumatizing it has been to me. Not even me, sometimes. Cause I still love her, somehow, deep inside of me. She made me feel safe, seen, loved, alive and chosen for the first time of my entire life. And she took it back in a second. She ruined me. I am incapable of trusting, and feeling any affection anymore.
2026-09-29 00:06:21
5
Justsomeguy1.1 :
I've never heard this explained so well.
2026-10-01 15:47:25
11
Alex Nzioki :
ptsd😒 the accuracy and the comments feeling like we experienced the same exact shit
2026-09-30 08:25:08
2
Taradactile :
I thought I was crazy. I knew what I had experienced, but that ice cold discard made me question my reality. Thank you for the validation.
2026-09-30 02:26:38
3
🎀🤍🪽MICHELE_777🎀🤍🪽 :
This is definitely what happened to me.💔😭
2026-09-29 09:05:39
1
jesusdaughter000 :
We just go with the flow and take mental notes. When you prove to be inconsistent, toxic etc . We leave , but it’s not the lil disagreement. It’s a number of things.
2026-09-29 19:05:34
1
Jenny 🌹 867-5309 :
The guy, literally on our second date, wanted to be exclusive and told everybody in the small neighborhood in Los Angeles that he found the love of his life. That avoidance side came out really strong. I didn’t even want to be in a relationship. The next thing you know, I’m chasing the guy. Within a few months, everything changed and my nervous system was wrecked. Many breakups and then a final one a year later. Then when I was cleaning out my voicemails, I discovered one that he had accidentally left on my phone when he was with another woman three months into the relationship. I had no idea. Of course, I did all the detective work and realized he was with another woman an hour after I left him for the weekend we spent together. would I know now after almost 2 years of no contact is that if a man triggers my nervous system like that again, it’s dangerous for me to stay. There were also signs that he was gay. I googled it many times.🥺
2026-09-28 21:23:59
4
MinaMorningstar :
It wasn’t even just him that did it, his family was awful too and he didn’t stop them. Almost two years later and I have heart damage from broken heart syndrome but I was “being dramatic and playing the victim” because I was the one who left. I was protecting my son. I didn’t see the pattern of his past relationships and how his family treated his partners until it was too late.
2026-09-29 09:25:02
1
Mayte :
heart broken
2026-09-30 05:30:59
4
Jmp1313 :
Is DA is 1000 times worse! 🤦🏻♂️
2026-09-30 04:54:29
1
Carl B :
So very spot on. 👏🙏🏼
2026-09-29 14:56:57
1
. :
Omg
2026-09-29 06:15:23
1
iamZOG :
Where can I meet women like you who are so knowledgeable and evolved and have so much depth to their emotional and mental understanding and comprehension. Where are the women like you :). Just sayin 🤷🏻♂️.
2026-09-29 23:51:13
2
mattnelson188 :
it's soul crushing
2026-09-29 03:25:25
4
Libertarian :
of all the things I've listened to, this...THIS explains it exactly. Thank you
2026-09-29 22:24:39
1
pat ramsay :
This is my story exactly
2026-09-29 13:01:41
1
Garden of Reason :
This is exactly right! It’s the stop that hurts the most.
2026-09-30 01:03:19
1
Adrian Escalera230 :
I thought i was in love. I thought she was my person. She bought me flowers and talked about kids and dogs. Then discarded with no reason or rationale
2026-09-29 14:01:26
1
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