You know, sometimes i wonder if all the kindness that i give to others is me coping with the fact that im a horrible person. No matter how hard i try, i have to force myself to be kind to others and its as my entire personality is a facade so that i can fit in with those around me. I dont actually care about anyone, i just pretend to in hopes that i will fit in. I do it to form fake friendships to distract myself from my overwhelming hatred for the human race. I feel as if every single conversation i have ever had is just me formulating the most appealing fake personality to whomever i am talking to. i dont know who i am because all i do is appeal to others. i dont know my own opinions because they are shapen and changed to simply align with those around me. I dont even feel anything i just act as if i do, it scares me because i feel like i dont feel attached to anyone anymore. I haven’t felt sadness for someone passing away in a long time. I feel like all the connections i have made with others are simply a means of me trying to climb the ever growing social ladder that is life. Maybe this is why i dont deserve love, because i dont even think i can truly love anymore. I have lived such a boring and shitty life that i dont even feel attached to my own family anymore. Matter of fact i dont think i enjoy spending time with them at all. I would much rather be alone than talk to them. I feel as if everything i do is performative in the utmost degree. And i am ever envious of those that can feel the vast spectrum of human emotion. Because all i feel is hatred and pity for my own boring life. Everything feels the exact same, and that feeling is a pit of nothingness.
2026-10-18 09:01:34
1
thisfutty :
I wish we got to know more abt his childhood and his father
2026-09-29 00:31:07
32
julian ☭ 🔻 :
never stop posting king
2026-10-04 08:00:34
2
gadeeeem :
song name pls
2026-09-29 15:59:02
2
. :
2026-09-29 10:26:45
10
:
i love you
2026-10-02 15:41:10
3
Zelenitas :
I love this video, you're the best!
2026-10-01 16:50:46
2
w :
my future
2026-09-30 11:05:52
2
LBLEDITS :
2026-09-29 03:03:09
2
𝐍𝐨𝐣𝐨 :
I love your edits
2026-09-29 00:21:16
1
lean :
2026-09-29 02:27:43
2
.knq :
2026-09-29 23:27:01
1
Piña⁴² :
Barry is peak
2026-09-29 10:39:37
2
noctulian :
peak
2026-09-29 00:16:43
1
Barry :
2026-10-05 20:58:25
1
julian ☭ 🔻 :
2026-10-04 08:00:47
1
Zelenitas :
peakkkkkk:)
2026-10-01 16:50:54
1
✹ :
2026-09-29 07:33:36
2
1447 :
Meat🔥
2026-09-28 23:46:30
1
sagecore • LS :
🔥
2026-10-07 16:10:49
0
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