@professorneil: You might not know with 100% certainty. But you don’t need to *know*.

firefoxstargazer :

he will joke about consent boundaries. first clue.

Tim Kirk :

Every woman I know was s-aed.

thelastmango :

I overheard a coworker tell some others that she was lying and that the accusation wasn't true. They laughed because I assume they think he was joking or because they believe him. I was shocked.

no :

Ask: “Do you think you’ve ever made a woman feel unsafe?”

Liz :

but.. they do talk about it with their friends - unfortunately, it’s often seen as just “locker room talk” or “women are crazy”

Disorderly Borderline :

guys were never taught consent so for years our idea of consent was completely different than women's reality of it. Some of us learned. Others didn't.

xrmxni :

they'll brag about it openly, wether or not you take it as a "dark humor" joke is on u

littlelostsnake🇨🇦 :

lets remember that they did a test, where when they asked question luke did you coerce, or did you refuse to take no as a answer and still had sex with a woman after forcing her to say yes, the men were more than happy to respond that they did things like that, but the minute the question included the word rape, the same men would say no i don't do that. Because patriarchy as made coercive rape so normalized, they don't register it as rape

danvazh :

Good men have no buddies

ArchaeoloGuy :

I found out that a man I had counted as a friend who was also a major person on my old team had SA’d one of the people on the women’s team. I left. I told the other officers that he should be removed and that the slap on the wrist they gave him was wrong. I am confident that other men have also encountered people like that with that same level of certainty but have chosen to play along because they liked the guy

Emo reagent🚸 :

Simple I don’t be befriend bad people I test them

staciestacy1981 :

Whitney Cummings talks in one of her specials about SH in the work place. She says to a guy in the audience that obviously he would never pull himself out in front of a coworker because that would be crazy. He laughs and agrees. She says, “But you know a guy who would.” He laughs and says, “Geoffrey.” If he is willing to SH a coworker, he is willing to SA her, if he thinks he can get away with it.

Annoying AF20188 :

My ex knew I was an abusive relationship, involving physical abuse. When a GF claimed that she was raped and went missing, he defended her rapist as false accusation. He was shocked that I never went to the doctor after it happened. I did go to my oncologist who did file DV but I was not the perfect victim that men expect.

isee77 :

if my partner heard "locker room talk" he would absolutely call the police. ge ended up going overseas for 4 mo when a man un that office accused the manager of assault. he went to "fix" it...but not to cover it up...hecwent to yes fic the issue but support the woman who was assaulted. I wouldn't be with him if he even just laughed it off. I come from a matriarchal family.

Frazer Smith :

Cool sweatshirt.

cyn**666** :

Yes they do

Nixilaas :

Who the fuck is the we in this situation, my friends talk about nerdy shit

steviesampson5 :

How many of them think they are owed sex from their wife?

EVy Robichaud :

Sometimes they do openly admit it but justify it, downplay it, or the people around them assume it isn’t rape because they eventually consented (even though the consent was based on coercion)

LCWA :

If they don’t know how come no one in that frat was shocked and horrified when that Snapchat went out?

sueber :

Xpedition Unearthed :

here's one thing I've heard one man say to another "Look at that girl over there the things id do to her." is there a possibility they may mean if we were boyfriend and girlfriend but that's not likely what they mean

Heather💜 :

You don’t use words like coercion, stalking, assault… But you’ll describe the acts in detail.

Opinionatedboomer :

They always give themselves away.

Lee06 :

Yes, they do. They just don’t consider it rape when their buddy says a wife can’t refuse sex or when they reminisce about the good old days when they’d buy alcohol for minors so they’d be easier or when they recommend coercive techniques, like using the threat of cheating, if a friend wants advice on how to get their girlfriends/wives to do it when he wants