@m.e.myselfandfatigue: "I am Jane Doe." People often ask why survivors don't report right away, why there’s no physical evidence, or why we "went along with it”. We need to be clear about what actual consent is: crying, explicitly saying NO, trying to turn away, or enduring a sexual act because the psychological and emotional trap leaves you feeling like there is no way out is NOT consent. That is sexual assault under duress. I was married to my abuser and subjected to relentless sexual violence and non-consensual acts. I begged him to stop, I said no, and I tried to turn away from him. The coercive dynamic made escape impossible, and my clear refusals were completely ignored and overridden to use my body anyway. When I finally went to the police years after we separated, I was met with what so many of us hear: "There’s no evidence, it’s your word against his." Because I spent years keeping the peace, hiding my shame, and making out we have the perfect life due to humiliation, I didn't save messages, record anything, or keep receipts. I survived. That is why systems fail us. Abuse is designed to leave no trail, yet the legal system demands proof that domestic dynamics make impossible to keep. Perpetrators walk away because of this gap. That exact reality is why I’ve now chosen to work as a domestic abuse researcher - to take this pain, study the failures of these systems, and fight to change them. I am Jane Doe because my trauma was real, even if the legal system couldn't process it. To every survivor whose case was dropped or who was told their submission meant agreement: I see you. #IAmJaneDoe #IAmJaneDoeToo #MeToo #JaneDoe #SexualAbuse

Rebecca; ME, Myself, & Fatigue

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Thursday 01 October 2026 10:27:25 GMT