@drjulie: 👉 What can you do about this? The way to give criticism less weight is to take some of the threat out of it. So first, ask yourself one question: Was it warranted and constructive, aimed at helping me do better at something that matters to me? Or was it the personal, poisonous kind, aimed at hurting me? If it was fair, just painful to hear: It hurts to find out someone else sees the thing you already want to improve. What makes it unbearable is attaching your self-worth to it. If room for improvement says something fundamental about your worthiness, the fallout is too big to act on. So get the framing right: it must be acceptable, in your own mind, to be a fallible human being. Once it is, you're free to improve without the shame. If it was the personal kind, aimed at hurting you: Then the question isn't "am I good enough?" It's "whose opinion actually matters to me?" Make that list. Keep it short. The people who know you, want good things for you, and would tell you the truth kindly. If the person who hurt you isn't on it, they don't get a seat at the front of your mind. Downgrade the opinion. Keep the top spot for yourself. And one last thing. Was it said in the heat of the moment by someone normally in your corner? That's a repair conversation. Or does this person regularly leave you feeling smaller? Then the comment isn't the problem. The pattern is. And you're allowed to decide how much of you they get access to. 👉 For more on this, my two bestselling books: Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? and Open When… Links in my bio.

𝕵𝖆𝖕𝖔𝖝𝖟𝟕𝟕𝟕 :

not me reading The Forbdden Rules of Mind in one sitting

Caleb Adom Arthur :

You explain them so simply❤️

Omar :

That's 100% true

LinaB :

Would appriciate the secret to help us overcome our brain? 😁

Sap :

I don't agree with this. Why would you perceive things as a threat that sounds like someone with low confidence.

ᗩᑎGIE ᔕᕼᕼᕼᗰᗩᑎGIE🫦 :

a billion 😔

PRINCE🇰🇪JOSEY :

brains job isn't to be fair and equal in is to protect you 😳 anything that you feel like threat is more weighty

Nett🅰️ :

Ooooh this is so real, I love psychology!!! Also, first[Big LOL][Big LOL][Big LOL]

Hera :

As a writer diagnosed with AuDHD, I feel this so deeply. I can get 20 positive reviews, then one negative review comes along, and suddenly that’s the one that lives in my head for the longest time. • It weighs me down, genuinely affects my mood, and I have to put in extra effort just to stop thinking about it. • You’d think having ADHD would at least make forgetting it easier, but nope. 😭 Somehow, I’ll forget all 20 positive reviews and remember that one negative one perfectly. 🥺

Міла Таро :

This really was helpful and bring a lot of understanding

ximena  :

not me reading The Forbdden Rules of Mind in one sitting

Ay'tas :

💯 going through this now overwhelmed

🖤🌹Black Velvet Rose 🖤🌹 :

can u tell us how to handle when a person chooses to be silent with u ? and I can't handle it and I can't handle it because I don't accept that I don't have information why they are silent

Miss K :

Are you by any chance Lainey Wilson’s sister?

MindSketch :

Hmmm this is indeed a good explanation for it.

Wallace Lee :

Yes.

Lauren Schenck :

This was helpful and bring a lot of understanding 🤗🩷🤗

user2776539391054 :

So true 👍

Jimjim88 :

okay, so whats the action plan for this????

waynekoppelcoach :

Your brain see's the criticism and then protects us because it's a warning. Now that I look at the criticism from that angle it makes complete sense because where there's a threat there maybe more threats/attacks thank you for that perspective Dr Julie

Trauma.Practitioner.Jay :

Yes, I always say that others give us pain, but we give ourselves suffering

Tallvue :

Not every opinion deserves the same amount of mental space.

Desobreviviraflorecer :

How incredible our brain works. It protect us but in the way make us suffer so much until we understand how it works!

Adonis :

🇵🇸 Zoo :

wow