@sudsy.star: My mother was a difficult person. She could be verbally abusive and very hurtful, and living with her was not easy. When I was 19, she threw me out and disowned me because I didn’t do what she wanted. Over the years, she eventually did the same to my father and my sister. She passed away last week. We hadn’t seen her in a very long time. I understand that mental illness and personality disorders can change a person. I understand that sometimes people are fighting battles inside themselves that we may never fully understand. I have spent years trying to make sense of her behaviour and trying to find reasons for the things she did. But how many explanations can you make for abuse before you begin to excuse it? I think that is one of the hardest parts of grief... the realization that you can understand someone’s pain without being able to erase the pain they caused you. I am sad. I grieve for the relationship we never had. For the mother I wished I could have had. For all the years that passed, all the apologies that never came, and all the possibilities that are now gone forever. Maybe grief isn't always about missing someone as they were. Maybe sometimes it is grieving who you needed them to be, and accepting that they could never be that person. That hurts too. Now, let me drown my sorrows in paste.💔 . . . . #asmr #CleanTok #spongesqueezing #spongeasmr #asmrspongesqueezing

🫧iClean🧼 :

I do not personally know you, and I do not know how that feels to be treated in that manner…but your mature response…shows that you are above your circumstances and have overcome in ways you may not understand and your vulnerability to let strangers in speaks volumes in your growth 🙏🏽🥰🙏🏽🥰🙏🏽🥰🙏🏽

✨🫧GeeGee 🧽✨ :

You are very wise and this video was perfect 👌🏾

lilmokagrl :

Im so sorry for your experience with this and I hope you find peace through your grief, sending big hugs 🙏🏻

Kiwi🥝🫧 :

I’m sorry for your loss. I’m in the same boat. Mourning a relationship I will never have. Take care of yourself 🫂

megansavage1010 :

Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. I pray the angels and a loving God watch over you, your family, and that you are protected and guided while you heal and grieve. You are loved!

4UTISTICSLU7 :

I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to endure. From one woman who had a... difficult mother (to put it kindly) to another, it is okay to sincerely mourn the person you always hoped she'd become/could become. love you my friend 🫂🩷

DjLovesCleaning :

I am so sorry but this combo was amazing in every way

squeeze_and_relax :

Aw Sudsy, may you heart and mind find peace ❤️‍🩹 May time give you the confort you need during these days 🫶

soapyoverload :

Your caption was beautifully written. Grief is a tricky one when you had a complicated relationship with the person you are in grief for. Thankfully there are no right or wrong ways to feel your grief. Hope you are healing during this time and sending love.

GripGoddess ASMR :

This caption is so real. Haven’t spoken to my mom in 14 years.

Open_waves :

I’m sorry you went through that. You worded it beautifully. It is hard to understand while you still hold all the pain. 💛

sudswcyn 🫧💗 :

Acknowledging your mother’s mental illness is called giving grace and you’ll be blessed for that 🙏🏽 and great squeezes!

smallkinesudz :

Meg 🫧🧽 :

So sorry for your loss, praying for healing and peace to you and your family 🤍

🫧💕Prettisudz💕🫧 :

Sending you love 🫶🏾💕🙏🏽

maricris :

🥹🥹🥹

Nina🫧🌲🧽 :

Sending love💖

chofis😘🫧🫧 :

🧁🎀🌟𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓵𝓮𝓽🌟🎀🧁 :

Sending love 🤍

Moni :

i bet you feel a weight off your shoulders now tho ❤️

Big Papi :

74 squeezes ur feelings are so very valid u do not owe anything to anyone

CHRISTINA MARIE CREATES :

This was so good the squeezes are incredible [Heartwarming][Heartwarming][Heartwarming][Heartwarming][Heartwarming]

Kia :

Sorry for ur lost!

sponge bob asf :

i am so sorry my love. 💖 my heart is with you during this confusing and difficult time…sometimes things like this will never make sense 💔

SqueezesForJesus :

I’m so sorry. There’s a lot of emotions to navigate and I’m sure it’s really confusing. Praying for comfort and clarity for you and your family.